The Halfway Cafe

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Trump Claims Democrats Want To Mandate Every Marriage From Now On Must Be Biracial
Donald Trump today made several unsubstantiated claims about Joe Biden’s 2024 presidential platform: “Joe Biden hates same-race marriages even more than…
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MAGA Fans Explain Why They Want Trump To End America's Democracy
"Democracy is Woke, liberal BS!"
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Trump's Lawyers Are Putting Sedatives In His Diet Cokes To Limit His Courtroom Outbursts
And other Dada news headlines from Trump's trial!
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Trump Supporters Sadly Just Aren't Assimilating Into American Culture
Are they just too militant and different for our melting pot?
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Abortion Protesters Are Now Protesting Polyester At The Mall
“A lot of other Evangelicals don’t realize this, but the Bible specifically forbids mixing fibers in your clothes in Leviticus 19:19."
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A GOP House Candidate Is So Homophobic Everyone Is Just Assuming He's Gay
Republican House candidate Spencer Donovan from Alabama has run a campaign spreading such virulently homophobic public statements that Alabamians across…
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White Supremacists Have Collected 3,000 Jars Of "Backup Genetically White Semen"
White supremacist and anti-Semite Ron Gordonnal, the man behind the nonprofit organization “White Semen Doomsday,” has reportedly reached a milestone in…
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Donald Trump Had To Be Physically Restrained Today In Court
Donald Trump was restrained and held in contempt of court today for a plethora of behavioral problems on the first day of his New York trial. Only a few…
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God: "For The Last Time… I'm NOT Pro-Life, And Never Have Been!"
God is reportedly pissed that Republicans keep saying He’s against abortion, and just released the following statement to prove otherwise: “Stop putting…
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God Admits Humans Aren't Even In The Top 10 Of His Favorite Creations
In a frank interview with God this morning, the Creator admitted that humans aren’t, biologically speaking, anything special. “I don’t know how humans…
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A Televangelist Claims "The Gays Tricked Me Into Doing A Gay!"
A major sex scandal featuring a gay sex tape is rocking the Church of Leviticus of televangelist Dan Whittington, who originally claimed the tape was…
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Republicans Are Worried Women Will Elect Biden In A Landslide
This is probably due to a host of ongoing GOP legislative efforts to restrict the rights of women: The creation of a new “DMV” called the Department of…
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