Eric Trump Says Bill Clinton's Sons Must Be "So Embarrassed Their Dad Is On The Epstein List"
And this week’s other Dada News headlines!
Eric Trump just said on Fox News, “Democrats sure are embarrassed by the Jeffrey Epstein list aren’t they? Their kids must be so humiliated their dads are rapey perverts!”
A New Hampshire primary voter asked Nikki Haley in her town hall if she’d still pardon Trump if it turned out he sold nuclear secrets to Saudi Arabia in exchange for hosting a LIV golf championship at his golf course, and she said she’d not answer any questions from a Democrat.
The RNC is now mandating all GOP state party chairmen to begin paying 2% of their salaries into an insurance fund to help offset the cost of their inevitable sex scandals.
GOP Senator Tom Gafferty says he’s disappointed his 6-year-old daughter didn’t like her big Christmas present of an AR-15, and he’s worried he’s raising a little liberal.
Donald Trump reportedly humiliated himself at Mar-a-Lago today by pulling down his pants in the dining room at lunch to “prove” he didn’t wear diapers, but he forgot to first change into regular underwear so he actually showed everyone he does in fact wear diapers.
After hearing Nikki Haley refuse to condemn slavery, an impressed Stephen Miller says he won’t kick her out of America in Trump’s next term until at least the second round of deportations.
Donald Trump’s Secret Service code nickname was “Roast Beef” because agents thought he smelled like an old, rotting roast beef sandwich that had been left out in the sun for 6 days.
GOP Senator Ralph Riggs just admitted on Newsmax that Republicans are only pretending to care about making a deal with Democrats to solve the border and migrant crisis because they’ll “never ever vote to fix it when it’s so great for campaigning and fundraising.”
Joe Biden says he’ll pardon Trump if Trump merely walks up a ten-foot ramp without any assistance.
The Palm Beach regional salesmen who sell wholesale ketchup, adult diapers, Diet Coke, Adderall, and hair spray all live next to each other in big mansions on a private street they named “Trump Avenue.”
“Republicans are the party of Lincoln!” yelled a man holding a confederate flag and wearing a shirt that says “The South will rise again.”
GOP state senator Dusty Hawckert of South Dakota reportedly got shot in the foot this morning by his 6-year-old son who was playing with the AR-15 Hawckert got him for Christmas to “own the libs.”
Donald Trump just installed a chimpanzee exhibit at Mar-a-Lago so he can blame his stench on the apes next to the dinner dining room.
A “Blacks for Trump” group in Idaho just changed its name to “Whites for Trump” after the group’s founder admitted they hadn’t attracted a single Black member in its nearly 8 years of trying.
QAnon claims Donald Trump is only on the list of Epstein clients because a few times Bill Clinton flew on Epstein’s plane he was wearing a Donald Trump disguise.
GOP state senator Bart Winthrop from Alabama says red flag laws are unconstitutional because “We have no idea if a guy who says to the gun dealer he’s going to kill his wife will actually go home and do it, or if he’s just making small talk.”
A new poll finds that 97% of Democrats want Bill Clinton to go to prison if he had sex with underage girls, while only 27% of Republicans want Donald Trump to go to prison if he had sex with underage girls. However, of those Republicans, 100% want Clinton in prison.
Donald Trump’s next legal strategy is reportedly going to be to claim he was trying to get to the Capitol Building himself on January 6th to tell the protesters to go home, but the Secret Service wouldn’t take him, so the insurrection is all their fault.
At the Mar-a-Lago NYE party Donald Trump brought a confused boy who was not Barron up on stage with him before leading the crowd in a toast to Barron’s health.
Jared Kushner has reportedly asked his dad to make another big donation to Harvard so he can get the job as president.
Trump should just start walking out on stage at his rallies wearing KKK robes, Nazi uniforms, and blackface. In the interest of science, let’s see exactly HOW FAR the GOP is willing to go in excusing and accepting deplorability.
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