How Does The GOP Pay No Political Price For Deplorable Conduct?
Herschel Walker will still likely get 49% of the vote after promising he’s pro-life, and getting caught paying for an abortion.
The following are all wild things Republicans have done that GOP voters don’t mind because of the absurd, traitorous partisanship evident in their cultural ethos of “I’d rather be a Russian than a Democrat,” and the “We are all domestic terrorists” sign featured at CPAC:
Herschel Walker claiming strict pro-life bona fides but paying for at least one abortion.
Dr. Oz helping kill 300 puppies and throwing their lifeless (but still adorable and precious) bodies into garbage bags.
Donald Trump inciting a coup that ransacked Congress and attempted to hang the vice president on live, national television.
Republicans refusing to even hear witnesses or consider the evidence in Trump’s two impeachment trials.
Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner getting $2 BILLION from Saudi Arabia for some inexplicable deal that gives absolutely no benefit to America or our national security and should be investigated by the FBI immediately.
Republicans banning abortion with no knowledge of female anatomy or medical healthcare, and no respect for women’s autonomy.
The RNC publishing a dictatorially wet dream platform that essentially says “Whatever Trump thinks or wants.”
Tucker Carlson becoming a mouthpiece for sociopathic Vladimir Putin’s illegal and unjustified war in Ukraine and its extravaganza of human rights violations and delusions of imperial grandeur.
The GOP still having no replacement plan for Obamacare after 14 years of savagely smearing it as communism.
House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy vowing to Liz Cheney to impeach Trump, and then lying about it and pretending he wasn’t scared of being murdered by the mob on January 6th.
Senator Rick Scott releasing a GOP agenda that says poor people need to pay more in taxes, and Social Security and Medicare need to end.
Senator Rick Scott straight up looking like a penis:
Senator Tom Cotton straight up looking like a penis:
Senator Josh Hawley straight up looking like a penis:
Senate candidate Blake Masters straight up looking like a penis:
***WHY DO SO MANY REPUBLICANS LOOK LIKE PENISES?***
Josh Hawley setting a Congressional speed record for running out of the Capitol away from the mob he hours earlier helped incite and raised his fist in solidarity with.
Mitch McConnell selling his soul to Satan live on C-SPAN in exchange for Senate majority power.
Donald Trump straight up bragging about raping married women.
Donal Trump Jr. regularly posting drugged-out videos showing him with red eyes, sniffles, and slow, slurred speech.
Donald Trump mocking war heroes, gold star families, saying he doesn’t understand why some soldiers sacrifice their lives, asking his generals to be more like Hitler’s generals, and sucking up to dictators around the world.
Donald Trump literally threatening Mitch McConnell by saying he has a “death wish.”
Donald Trump giving Elaine Chao, his own Secretary of Transportation, a racist nickname.
Stephen Miller lurking at night in the witching hour during dark new moons in D.C. to feed on the homeless.
Louie Gohmert existing.
Ted Cruz being Ted Cruz, and seriously thinking he has a chance to someday be President Ted Cruz.
Dozens of Republicans voting AGAINST emergency relief funds for blue states, but voting FOR emergency relief funds for red states.
Seriously. WTF? Republicans have no patriotism or loyalty to the majority of American citizens who have voted for Democratic presidents in 7 of the last 8 elections.
MORE OF MY COMEDY!
GOP Bails On Herschel Walker After He Says He “Loves Taxes,” Not After Abortion Scandal
“Blacks 4 Trump” Group Has 106 Members, And They’re All White
The Wildest Trump Headlines You’ve Probably Forgot About
Donald Trump’s 2024 Campaign Slogans Just Leaked!
Thanks for your eyeballs!
-Dash MacIntyre
Follow me on Twitter at @HalfwayPost to interrupt your daily doomscrolling with Dada news, and follow me on Medium to keep up with my daily writing studio.
Check out my book “Satire In The Trump Years: The Best Of The Halfway Post” available on Barnes & Noble and Amazon!