22 Comments
User's avatar
Joberta Wells's avatar

Now we know why they’re so cranky. 🤣

The Halfway Cafe's avatar

Very small peens ha

Joberta Wells's avatar

They have been so busy beating people with flagpoles that they can’t raise their own.😏

Joberta Wells's avatar

I had to read this a second time to make sure I didn’t miss a pearl. You have started my day off in the best way possible — with multiple belly laughs!

The Halfway Cafe's avatar

Thanks for the beautifully kind words! Cheers to many more laughs together this year 🥰

Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Laughing isn’t denial. It’s refusal. Appreciate this.

majorfathead's avatar

Strange and wonderful! You make an otherwise ordinary (in this present world awful) day and make me smile. Thank you.

The Halfway Cafe's avatar

That's lovely to hear! Thanks for reading my work 😃

Diane J's avatar

You're one of my top 3 subscriptions, which means a lot since I'm on a tight fixed income.

The 3 top in no order of subscription sign-up: Jeff Tiedrich, Halfway Cafe, and Scott Dwarken

Dwarken(s).

The Halfway Cafe's avatar

I am truly honored! Thanks for being a paid subscriber! 🥰

Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

https://thistleandmoss.com/p/this-week-is-trending-to-suckage-now

"Transformative change, by its very nature, will never be easy. And we cannot depend on judges, lawmakers, or administrations to be catalysts. That's why we need people who are passionate enough to give with their hearts; grounded enough to lead with their heads; and courageous enough to take risks, fail, and never give up." — Tim Gill, founder of the Gill Foundation

Life Survival: Here's the brutal truth nobody tells you: the cavalry isn't coming. No politician, no court ruling, no viral tweet is going to save us. Change happens because ordinary people decide they're too fucking stubborn to quit. You don't need to be wealthy or connected or certain—you just need to keep showing up. Today, identify one small risk you've been avoiding. Make the call. Send the email. Have the conversation. Failure isn't the opposite of progress; it's the goddamn currency of it. Every movement that ever mattered was built by people who got knocked down, wiped the blood off their chins, and stood back up anyway.

SUE H SPENCER's avatar

Every day I read this column, and every day I see items that honestly could be true, and at least one thing that I wish were true!

Honestly though, do you really believe that there were 6 patrons in the movie theater showing that movie?

The Halfway Cafe's avatar

Lol that one was more fictional than the rest! 🤪

Susan Randol's avatar

Many of these were very believable !!

The Halfway Cafe's avatar

My specialty! :D

Sarah Last's avatar

That’s one way to get a rise out of people.

Patricia Taylor's avatar

Omg, you are SO good. Thank you thank you thank you for providing this wonderful snark to my day.

Mark's avatar

Hilarious!

Neural Foundry's avatar

The tow truck drivers bit is genuienly brilliant. The plausible deniability angle is such a clever inversion of the usual mask trope. Been sharing these with freinds who need a laugh break from the doom scroll and it really does help. Satire like this walks that perfect line between absurd and uncomfortably possible.