ICE's Hotline Is Clogged With People Reporting Elon Musk's Suspected Illegal Immigration
And this week's other graffiti news headlines!
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ICE just announced it is again pausing the hotline where people can call to report undocumented immigrants because 95% of the calls are from people reporting Elon Musk, whose own brother has publicly admitted they weren’t legal.
MAGA fans are calling for the book to be removed from the Statue of Liberty’s arm “because books are for liberals.”
In a meeting over the Panama Canal this morning, the Panamanians reportedly demanded JD Vance “say thank you” for letting any US ships use the canal.
JD Vance reportedly tried to buy donuts again this morning for a video, but the footage was shelved because, before the cashier handed him the box of donuts, she made him say “thank you” first.
The MAGA-loving economist who put his entire life savings in Tesla stock a month ago reportedly just sold his Porsche and is now driving a 1993 Toyota Camry.
A liberal billionaire is now paying Internet trolls to pose as gay men to catch enough “family values” Republican members of Congress in sex stings that the ultra thin GOP majority flips to Democrats.
Tesla’s stock value has plummeted from $420 per share to $69 per share, but Elon Musk isn’t laughing.
For the third day in a row, Gen Z protesters have heckled JD Vance at his events by yelling out, “Say pwease and tank you!”
Vladimir Putin is joining the effort to support Elon Musk by no longer pushing his political enemies out of windows, and instead running them over in a Cybertruck.
Trump’s MAGA appointees at the FBI are reportedly mad at Donald Trump for appointing Kash Patel as the Director because they say he cooks “weird, unAmerican foods in the microwave that make the top three floors of the FBI building smell bad.”
Chief Justice John Roberts has reportedly turned down Trump’s offer to stay the weekend in the Mar-a-Lago penthouse, even after Trump promised to remove the hidden cameras.
Tesla Cybertruck drivers across the country are complaining that fast food employees keep intentionally dropping food and drinks on their trucks to stain the metal panels.
After a school event today hosted by RFK Jr. about healthy food, he stayed when he heard they were doing dissections in the science class.
Elon Musk took a break from his DOGE cuts and firings to tell the media that it’s unfair and cruel for investors to decide to cut Tesla’s funding and try to fire him as a cost-cutting measure.
The Tesla Cybertruck is the most hated vehicle in history going back to 1909 when automobile polls began.
A group of Gen Z kids walked into three Los Angeles Tesla dealerships today, told all the employees there they were fired, and then deleted all the files on the office computers before shouting out, “You just got D.O.G.E.ed!”
A federal judge says he has “no choice” but to invalidate everything DOGE has done because Elon Musk’s citizenship was dubiously received, and if there’s anything Trump’s executive orders demand the federal government take serious, it’s illegal immigration.
Tesla’s stock value is likely to drop tomorrow to -42.0% from December 31st, but the 420 joke is not cheering up Elon Musk.
Protesters keep yelling the famous Mean Girls line, “She doesn’t even go here!” at Elon Musk everywhere he goes referencing the fact that he’s South African yet, for some reason, being given authority to personally wreck the US government.
Canadian officials say they’ll join the US if they can come in as 10 states, get 20 Democratic senators, flip 35 Republican seats in the House, and stop the US from doing dumb shit.
“Too many federal judges have conflicts of interest” says a president who is constantly, publicly soliciting investments into his personal stock, his personal crypto coin, his gaudy hotels, and Elon Musk’s cars from the White House and his own social media platform. 🥃
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Love this 😆..... actually, some of the points would be pretty good to enact 😉
This is the best thing I’ve seen in weeks