MAGA Fans Are Mad At How Many "DEI Athletes" Africa Sent To The Olympics
And this week's other halfway true Dada News headlines!
A Fox News host just complained that the Olympics are ruined because of how many “unqualified DEI athletes” African countries have sent to compete, and claimed that it’s a “coincidence” so many of them ended up winning the track & field events.
Eric Trump reportedly just asked his father, “Daddy, is our family weird?”
A new study just found that Donald Trump has committed crimes against more Americans than all of America’s immigrants combined.
The executives of the gay dating app Grindr are currently all on vacation right now because it’s a company-wide tradition after the peak, all-hands-on-deck “holiday traffic” that accompanies the Republican National Convention every four years.
Donald Trump says he’ll sue J.D. Vance if they lose in November.
After a Fox News interviewer asked Donald Trump what his agenda would be since he claimed he wouldn’t be using Project 2025, Trump folded his arms across his chest and frowned.
Donald Trump is reportedly terrified that if Kamala Harris’s poll numbers continue to rise then Don Jr., Ivanka, and Eric will rat him out to the Justice Department and State of New York for immunity deals.
Donald Trump says if people don’t stop calling him “weird” he’s going to have all his supporters boycott the election.
Donald Trump has reportedly agreed to increase his campaign’s budget for hiring more minorities to come to his campaign events now that Kamala Harris is his opponent.
The American Museum of Black History & Culture has reportedly offered Donald Trump a $1 million salary to be the museum’s director because his recent comments about Kamala Harris have “proved he’s America’s preeminent expert on Black heritage.”
A group of MAGA fans in Montana just announced they’re starting a hunger strike they vow will last until Democrats stop calling Donald Trump and J.D. Vance “weird.”
Donald Trump claims only he can fix the border because, if Kamala Harris wins, he’ll force Congressional Republicans to obstruct reform for another 4 years.
Every time someone calls Matt Gaetz “weird” he threatens to lower the age of consent another year.
J.D. Vance’s daughter is reportedly asking for a cat.
A televangelist from Georgia says if Democrats think it’s “weird” to do male hymen checks on his congregants’ anuses, then “They can call me weird all they want.”
J.D. Vance reportedly won’t buy his daughter a cat for a pet, and told her, “Not until you’re married.”
Following his disastrous interview at the National Association of Black Journalists Donald Trump reportedly just wrote “every Black journalist” at the top of his 2025 deportation list.
Donald Trump says if Kamala Harris takes a DNA test he’ll release his tax returns.
J.D. Vance’s Indian wife is reportedly pretending not to know English when she’s around Trump so she doesn’t have to respond to his racism.
Donald Trump just gave himself his third golf trophy this month at Mar-a-Lago today.
A top Evangelical leader says ever since Kamala Harris became the candidate, every website he visits now has digital ads for fist dildos and gay swinger cruises.
Donald Trump was just overheard in the Mar-a-Lago cafeteria screaming into his cell phone, “I’m not weird! Make them stop calling me weird!”
Trump adviser Stephen Miller says if the MAGA movement gets called “weird” one more time he’s going to turn every Democrat into a human centipede.
OPINION: Kamala Harris should announce she’s going to release all the Epstein files involving Trump, and then ride the subsequent Trump meltdown to a 50-state landslide.
Donald Trump is reportedly mad at Vladimir Putin for letting Biden get the credit for freeing the Russian prisoners, and is telling members at Mar-a-Lago that Putin has “c*ckblocked him.”
Donald Trump says the government owes him millions of dollars because after they confiscated all his bathroom boxes of documents most of his Russian, Saudi, and Chinese Mar-a-Lago members didn’t renew their memberships.
With Kamala Harris surging in the polls, Fox News accountants have reportedly set aside a billion dollars in anticipation of the “inevitable lawsuits” its pundits will provoke with made up conspiracy theories about election workers, voting machines, and voter fraud.
After first claiming Kamala Harris isn’t really Black and that he’s “Blacker than Kamala,” Donald Trump just accused Pete Buttigieg of not really being gay, claiming, “I’m gayer than him!”
Now that Kamala Harris is surging in the polls, Donald Trump is reportedly planning to steal everyone’s attention back by starting feuds with Simone Biles and all the other Black Olympic athletes.
Kamala Harris says she’s giving Donald Trump “two weeks” to decide if he’ll debate her.
After Donald Trump claimed Kamala Harris wasn’t Black, a journalist asked him if he’d let Harris rent an apartment in Trump Tower and Trump folded his arms tightly and frowned.
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Yup, those DEI athletes Definitely Earned It.
They were talking about Simone Biles on Facebook and complaining that they show her all the time and they knew why.