MAGA Fans Explain Why They Want Trump To End America's Democracy
"Democracy is Woke, liberal BS!"
“I think democracy has been fun while it lasted, but I’m just so dissatisfied there's a consistent majority of people who disagree with me,” said Ray Yaeger, 27. “I was looking up some history the other day, and I was surprised to find out that Republicans lost the popular vote in 1992, 1996, 2000, 2008, 2012, 2016, and 2020. Thank God the Supreme Court intervened in Florida in 2000, and the Electoral College gave the presidency to Trump in 2016, but I’m not liking this trend! Democracy just isn’t as fun when America votes against what I want. I’m a bit alarmed that Republicans have only won the popular vote one time in my entire life, in 2004. So I say Trump should just take dictatorial power, and serve as long as he wants as dictator. When he’s done, maybe Ivanka or Don Jr. can take over for their lifetimes. I don’t even know what kind of policies they would pass, or if they’d even govern like conservatives, but it would piss off the libtards so hard that I’m all for having a Trump hereditary monarchy.”
Other Trump voters thought participating in elections was too much work.
“I’ve had enough of this democracy liberal BS!” said Marilyn Jamlin, 54 “I hate having to leave my house to vote against the Demonrats every other year. My voting precinct is four blocks down from my house, so I hate having to start up my piece of crap car to drive such a short distance because my spark plugs are real bad. It takes me forever to get it started! But it’s slightly too far to not take the car. I’m obese with the diabetes in my legs, and my motorized wheelchair can’t get up on the sidewalks cause this town doesn’t have any handicapped-accessible ramps. I complained to the city council about it, but those communists wanted to raise our sales taxes a quarter of a percent to pay for making the city more handicapped-accessible for people like me. Hell no! What am I, a socialist? I’ll never vote for a tax increase!”
Another Trump fan was, quite literally, unplugged from reality.
“I believe Donald Trump is the second coming of Jesus Christ,” said Ralph Poore, 62. “No one is more Godly than Trump. He’s so thick-skinned, calm and measured, and his Twitter is filled to the brim with spiritual devotionals and motivational quotes to be a better, more humble person. I only wish my grandkids would come over more often so they could fix my Internet connection. I haven’t been online in a couple years, and I’ve got to be missing so many of Trump’s politely articulated Twitter prayers asking America to turn down the rhetoric and treat everyone with dignity and respect regardless of color, creed, or political affiliation. Trump is just such a mentor for America, one who leads by example for our children to grow up and be welcoming, civil, and charmingly self-deprecating, just like him! The way he probably just ignores every criticism, and focuses on the job with a confidence that shows he’s secure in his own skin really inspires me. I bet he always courteously engages with fellow Twitter users, especially his critics, whose differences in opinions he never fails to respect with sacred reverence for free speech and diversity of perspective. Yep, Donald Trump is no juvenile, impulsive tweeter, that’s for sure! I bet his Twitter history is filled with thousands of compliments for other people, praise for newspapers’ business success, and stalwart defenses of the media’s right and responsibility to ask tough questions! I bet he gives them nicknames like ‘The Prospering New York Times,’ and ‘High-Ratings Don Lemon!’ And I bet he’s not interested in self-aggrandizement at all, and has never published even one tweet assigning himself unearned credit for governmental accomplishments preceding his own administration. Gee, I really should get back online soon and start reading all the righteous tweets I’m missing out on from this hero of manners, morals, and professional conduct! Billy or Tommy, if you’re reading this interview, come on over and help Papaw plug back in his Internet wires!”
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