Nothing Sexier Than Whispering In My Ear, "I Vote Democratic"

And other slogans for Democrats and liberals!

Photo by Joey Nicotra on Unsplash

It’s funny how conservative men somewhat frequently complain on social media about how dating is hard because women think Republicans are creepy and Donald Trump is a disturbed predator. Many women, and increasingly young women by a widening margin, consider conservative personal politics to be a red flag.

Liberal men have it easier in the heterosexual dating world because they’re not deluded by the belligerent, patriarchal totalitarianism of the Evangelical-dependent MAGA movement, so, if conservative men can’t get a date, maybe consider some political issues from a perspective not your own for a change — give liberal empathy a try!

Imagine if the government forced YOU to die from preventable medical emergencies continuing on with an unviable pregnancy resulting from incest or rape, and stop being a sexist sociopathic, red flag insisting legislatively that women should have to worry about that. Vote for Democrats to protect women’s reproductive rights!

Then you can whisper in your crush’s ears, “I voted straight-ticket Democratic,” and not get ghosted!

Here are some other things you can whisper in women’s ears to turn them on:

• Liberals want your life to not suck.

• Unions made your life not suck.

• I’m liberal because I’m not a selfish moron.

• Privatize corporate losses, not profits.

• Our dear planet Earth would never vote Republican.

• It’s okay to call anti-vaxxers stupid because they’re helping babies get the measles.

• Fascists’ victories are always pyrrhic, and their failures are inevitable.

• Get conservatives high: it turns them liberal for an hour!

• I support the LGBTQ+ community because other people being happy makes me happy, and I am not a sociopath.

• Read, write, and share banned books. If conservatives have banned them, you KNOW they’re good!

• Make America Idealistic Again.

• Higher estate taxes means less douchey trust fund babies.

• If we really ran the government like a business, we’d have to fire a lot of red states for underperforming.

• Democrats try way harder at government than Republicans.

• From the environment to healthcare, if someone’s getting rich you’re getting screwed.

• Every year the minimum wage doesn’t increase, America gets an inflationary pay cut.

• Billionaires have to pick one: higher taxes or higher wages.

• There’s no better return on investment than education.

• America’s next generation is the ultimate startup.

• Remember: no one benefits from political-correctness more than Republican politicians because it’s politically incorrect to call them lying fucking idiots in public.

• Republicans being the party of fiscal responsibility is the greatest myth in American history.

• Mocking fascists never goes out of style.

• You know who doesn’t jack up the price of simple, life-saving medicine by 1,000% overnight for no legitimate reason? The government operating at cost and providing health insurance as a civic right.

• At some point, chronic corporate climate polluters will need to go to jail.

• Evolution does not say humans evolved from monkeys, and if you think it does you’re too uninformed about biology to debate!

• Liberal agnostics are the moral center of America. The kids in high school who didn’t trust me because I was liberal and agnostic are now liberal and agnostic.

• The Bible says Christians figuratively and literally can’t be against helping refugees and immigrants.

• Deuteronomy 28:53 — God promises to cause a war so terrible it will make everyone eat their own children. Take that, pro-life Bible humpers!

• Instead of being a bigot, just be quiet!

• Psst, conservatives: you can still compliment women, you just can’t say anything that implies you want to have sex with them. It’s so easy to compliment women in ways that do not do that.

• Nothing is more American than wanting to be one and becoming one.

• Immigrants are better Americans than the Americans who hate immigrants.

• America is much younger, darker, more urban, less Christian, poorer, and more liberal than our Congress.

• The USA is not a racist ethnostate, and it never has been… pass it on.

• Real Americans resist fascism. Wherever. Whenever. Be as badass as our grandfathers were in winning WWII.

• Everyone hates Ted Cruz.

• You don’t have to be gay to love gay marriage.

• Republican presidents = economic crashes

• Don’t burn out. Stay informed. Stand up to the status quo exploiters. 🥃

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