Project 2025 Will Bring Back Child Labor To Replace Deported Workers

And this week's other halfway true Dada News headlines!

---

• Project 2025 says legalizing child labor nationally is the key to keeping the economy going after Trump deports America’s 10 million undocumented immigrants.

• Trump is reportedly so worried that Kamala Harris will do what he wanted Pence to do and claim voter fraud in red states and invalidate his electoral votes if he wins that he's considering publicly admitting he lost in 2020 and that US elections are totally trustworthy.

• The RNC reportedly debated internally if it would look too Nazi-ish if they passed out red armbands with black T’s on them for Donald Trump’s convention speech.

• Eric Trump reportedly tried to collect signatures of GOP delegates at the convention who will pledge to support him for a presidential campaign in 2028 instead of his brother Don Jr.

• A new poll finds that 93% of Americans want Grindr to “accidentally” leak out the names of every Grindr user active in the Milwaukee Convention Center this week.

• The Transgender Alliance has reportedly named Matt Gaetz as an “honorary trans hero,” saying that his recent facelift and excessive makeup use at the RNC suggest Gaetz no longer identifies as cisgender.

• Republicans in the Florida legislature just banned Matt Gaetz from reading books to children.

• The RNC has quietly requested all GOP speakers avoid using the words “rapist” and “sex offender” when describing crime in Joe Biden’s America because it might remind voters of Trump.

• Tucker Carlson’s testicle tanning machines are being sold at the RNC for only $199.

• A Trump campaign document leaked showing a list of all the infrastructure and green energy projects the Biden Administration funded and is currently building that Trump intends to take credit for next year if he wins.

• Mike Pence says J.D. Vance should have “hung out” with him before accepting the VP offer.

• Dozens of downtown Milwaukee bars and nightclubs are hosting drag shows each night this week so Republicans have nowhere to go to party after the convention.

• The local chapter of the Proud Boys are already making “Hang J.D. Vance” flags, “just in case.”

• How long do we have to wait following Trump’s attempted shooting until we can respectfully get “#TrumpSmellsLikeShit” trending again?

• Donald Trump’s top lawyer just begrudgingly admitted today that his legal arguments in Trump’s election fraud trial do, in fact, argue that if Kamala Harris is the candidate she can ensure she wins all 538 votes in the Electoral College.

• Project 2025 calls for legalizing child labor in all 50 states to replace the 10 million undocumented laborers Trump will deport, and will offer special tax credits to any parents who let their kids work in coal mines, oil rigs, or logging.

• Donald Trump says he’ll do a press conference “better than Biden’s” where he’ll answer more questions on more subject areas “in two weeks.”

• Donald Trump was reportedly furious after Viktor Orban beat him at golf during their bilateral trade meeting.

• The mysterious pro-choice and anti-Trump group who call themselves “The Cliterati” say Melania Trump has joined them, and is sharing humiliating secrets about her husband.

---

Enjoy my comedy? Buy me a coffee!

Follow me on Twitter, Threads, Bluesky, or Spoutible to interrupt your daily doomscrolling with Dada news, and follow me here on Substack!

Also check out my book “Satire In The Trump Years: The Best Of The Halfway Post,” available on Barnes & Noble and Amazon.

Check out my poetry book Cabaret No Stare, available in print and on Kindle.