The Dumbing Down Of The Internet
Join my comedic rebellion—here’s a 50% discount to support my satirical parodies for just $2.50 a month. Never stop laughing at the fascists.
This is hypocritical of a writer like me who publishes almost constantly on Twitter, Threads, and Bluesky to say, but I feel like the Internet is making us go haywire because we know too many people’s opinions, and we can express too many of our own to too many people.
Human social capacity is overextended when we can so easily write out a thoughtless idea that can go viral and then make thousands of strangers dunk on us, and insult us, and then laugh at all our self-conscious anxieties.
Anyway, here’s a little silly fun because the prospect of Trump literally driving our economy off the cliff has made me less funny the last couple weeks. I used to enjoy reading the personal essays on The Huffington Post because they occasionally had truly insane sounding essay titles like these I made up for fun:
Why I Love Snooping In Everybody’s Things, And Shouldn’t Be Expected To Change
I Thought I Lived A Charmed, Happily-Ever-After Life. Then My Husband Said I Couldn’t Adopt A 9th Cat
The 5 Valuable Life Lessons I’m Sharing With The World By Finding Random Addresses To Mail Packages Full Of Live Spiders
The 9 Disrespectful Microaggressions That We Stamp Collectors Regularly Have To Deal With When We Show People Our Collections
Women Never Noticed Me Until I Stalked Them For Months Always A Court-Mandated 50-Feet Away. Here’s Why Blame Goes Both Ways.
How My Sex Work Job Roleplaying As Gollum From The Lord Of The Rings For Lonely Millionaires Gave Me The Confidence To Leave My Husband And Kids, And Run An Underground Sex Dungeon Airbnb In A Missouri Cave
I’m So Nervous To Poop Around People I Go Outside And Poop In The Woods Behind My House When My Husband Is Home. I Tell Him I Love Hiking. Here’s How I Came To Terms With This.
No One Believes I’m A Bisexual Woman Because I’m Married To A Man And Only Ever Dated Men And Don’t Have Any Female Friends, But I’m Still Just As Much A Social Victim Of Systemic Oppression As People Of Color And Trans People
I Thought Eating Spicy Things Only Burned Going In. Boy Was I Wrong When It Came Out The Other End!
How Raising My 11-Year-Old Daughter As A Libertarian Turned Her Into A Mean, Selfish, Psycho Who Bullies Me Daily And Parasitically Does Not Contribute To The Family In Any Way
My Cubicle At Work Has An Opaque Door And No Windows So It Shouldn’t Matter What Websites I Visit During Work Hours
I Thought Life Wasn’t Worth Living. Then I Discovered My Passion For Herpetology In The Louisville Zoo’s Turtle Room
Why I’ve Learned To Appreciate, Honor, And Even Love Belgians, And Now I Only Hate The Dutch
How Eating Fried Green Tomatoes At A BBQ Restaurant Made Me Realize I Don’t Actually Care Much For Fried Green Tomatoes
What I Learned About Ageism As An 87-Year-Old Spinster Who Tells People On Dating Apps I’m 22 And “DTF”
White People Said We Were Sorry. Why It’s Exhausting That That’s Not Enough.
Why I Dress Up Like Mr. Rogers, The Pope, And Santa Claus To Flash People On Downtown Busses
Why I’m A Straight, White, Christian, Conservative Male, But Pretend To Be A Gay, Black, Atheist, Liberal, Trans Woman On Twitter To Criticize Gays, Blacks, Atheists, Liberals, And Trans People
I’ve Been Accused Of Being An Oblivious Narcissist Who Reframes My Selfishness In My Head As Empowerment. Here’s Why They’re Wrong.
THE SECURITY CAMERAS EVERYONE IS PUTTING ON THEIR HOMES ARE PEEPING ON ME JUST AS MUCH AS I’M PEEPING ON THOSE HOMEOWNERS!
I Know My Rights, And It’s Only Illegal To Shout “Fire” In A Crowded Movie Theatre. So Here’s Why I Like To Shout “Rats! Rats Are Everywhere!” Instead
Why I’m Confident Getting Into A New Business Deal With Donald Trump Won’t Backfire And Ruin Me Financially Like So Many Who Have Done Business With Him Previously
Why I’m Confident Getting A Job In The Trump Administration Won’t Backfire And Humiliate Me Like So Many Who Have Worked For Him Previously
What I Learned About Big Pharma By Taking Garbage Bags Out Of Public Trash Cans, Cutting Holes In The Bottom Corner, And Drinking The Mystery Liquids That Come Out
A List Of High-Fiber Foods That Made My Butthole Bleed A Little 🥃
Have any funny headline ideas of your own? Put them in the comments!
☕️ I’m trying to be the most relentless satirist of Donald Trump, Elon Musk, and the MAGA movement on the Internet, so if you like my graffiti news comedy here’s a 50% discount on paid subscriptions to help support me, for just $2.50 a month, write full-time and tirelessly mock Trump’s fascism with comedy.
And help me grow by sharing my comedy with your liberal friends and family, and your conservative enemies!
If you think Donald Trump is a joke, I published two books for you: “Satire In The Trump Years” and “Satire In The Biden Years,” available on Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Kobo. Or request your library order a copy!
I’ve also published three existentialist poetry books, Cabaret No Stare, Moon Goon, and Hotel Golden Hours available in print and on Kindle.
Because our social media platforms are being scrambled up by oligarchs, if you like my humor, diversify where you follow me so you never miss my jokes to interrupt your doomscrolling: Twitter, Bluesky, Threads, Facebook, Instagram, Spoutible, Medium, and Substack.
Browse my comedy portfolio, my graffiti news portfolio, and my poetry portfolio.
Or buy me a coffee if you want to help keep me caffeinated and amped to think up jokes about MAGA world!
When you brought up spicy food burning on entry and exit, I had to chuckle. But then, you brought up high fiber foods and bleeding a little, lost my breathe...
Must be I feel a little anal-logic today.
😂🤣😅