The Glorious Schadenfreude Of The FBI Raiding Mar-A-Lago
Just as we were getting into a Dark Brandon Summer in honor of falling gas prices, Biden killing al Qaeda’s Ayman al-Zawahri, and Democrats passing this Congressional term’s legislative capstone Inflation Reduction Act amidst rising poll numbers in the upcoming midterm elections party-wide for Democrats boosted by Republicans’ abortion insanity, the FBI raided Donald Trump’s home at Mar-a-Lago in service of the investigation into his illegal hoarding of classified documents.
Fox News’s hosts and guests immediately began to complain and jeer that Democrats and liberals on Twitter were finding the FBI raid hilarious, and they were right. It’s the funniest, most entertaining, most anticipated event of they year. The Schadenfreude I feel is spectacular, and I laughed all night at Trump’s misfortunes. For once I wasn’t doomscrolling on Twitter, I was gleescrolling.
It’s even funnier replaying the greatest hits of Republican slogans and talking points criticizing Hillary Clinton for her mishaps with classified documents. Remember the endless chants of “Lock her up!” and the wild speculative guesses on where her lost email server might be hidden? You’d think the crowds of Trump supporters screaming their concern for mishandled classified files would be similarly upset at Trump. They did spend a lot of time publishing op-eds that anyone being investigated by the FBI should be disqualified holding future office.
Interestingly, former FBI Director James Comey explained back in 2016 that Hillary was never ultimately charged with any crime because “no reasonable prosecutor” would pursue her case, which exhibited no “clearly intentional and willful mishandling of classified information” or “indications of disloyalty to the United States.” Given these guidelines for DOJ action, the raid on Mar-a-Lago suggests the FBI believes Donald Trump was willfully mishandling the classified documents and/or overtly displaying disloyalty to the US.
When the FBI later reopened its investigation into Hillary Clinton days before the 2016 election, Republicans pedantically told Democrats that, if they were attacking the FBI’s integrity, they were losing.
Such rhetoric contrasts quite starkly with Republicans now clamoring to “defund the FBI.” How pro-cop of them. What enthusiasm for law and order. They’re really backing the blue, aren’t they? Who wants to defund the police now? It’s amazing how Republicans can completely flip-flop on issues the second it becomes momentarily advantageous.
Meanwhile, conservative pundits and commentators are claiming the FBI is being recklessly political by investigating Trump because some of his supporters will get angry. What worthless punditry when Trump supporters are always getting angry about everything.
Whether it’s coffee companies printing “happy holidays” on cups, or toy companies making potatoes gender-neutral, or diners offering vegan sausage, or movies casting women protagonists and featuring gay characters, or television advertisements having mixed-race couples, or NASCAR repudiating racism, or football players quietly kneeling during the National Anthem, or scientists agreeing that burning fossil fuels are bad for climate stability, or children learning about the history of slavery, or doctors hoping sick people might wear masks, or Democrats winning fairly in elections, Trump supporters are always mad.
It’s also worth noting that the Director of the FBI, Christopher Wray, was appointed by Donald Trump, who tweeted that Wray was “a man of impeccable credentials” when he picked Wray for the job. Wray has been a lifelong Republican, and he’s not a Biden appointee, so Republicans’ claims that the likely coming prosecution of Trump is some kind of political sneak attack or witch hunt are a real stretch.
But maybe the conservative pundits and Republican officials who claimed the deadly and insurrectionist January 6th riot was a normal tourist visit ought to have such a rosy view on this Mar-a-Lago raid. Let’s just say the FBI agents were merely touring Trump’s private office and safe.
Trump himself ought to be relieved the FBI raid occurred when it did because it distracted the media from the damning New Yorker article published several hours earlier revealing Trump tried to use the military to stay in power after losing the election, and he wanted a military parade without any disabled veterans because they didn’t “look good” for him, and he asked his generals to emulate the generals of Nazi Germany.
Those scandals would individually ruin any other politician psychologically capable of feeling shame, but not über-criminal Donald Trump. The guy is literally addicted to committing crimes.
Which is why it’s hilarious that Mar-a-Lago was raided by the FBI, and the DOJ is finally, at long last, looking like it’s gearing up to indict and arrest Donald J. Trump.
I just hope the FBI has a couple agents monitoring Trump’s physical whereabouts at all times because Trump is maybe the biggest flight risk in American history.
He’s rich, he owns a plane, and he’s being investigated by the FBI, the DOJ, the January 6th Committee, Washington D.C., the State of New York, the State of Georgia, and any number of civil lawsuits. Perhaps Trump will try to fly his plane out of America. Maybe he’s got more classified government secrets hidden somewhere he can trade for residency in Saudi Arabia or Russia. He’s arguably already earned it from his otherwise incomprehensible policy legacy regarding those two countries.
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Thanks for your eyeball attention!
-Dash MacIntyre
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