Things NY Can Do With Trump Tower After It’s Confiscated
21 ideas guaranteed to infuriate Donald Trump!
Sell Trump’s penthouse on the top 3 floors to Hillary Clinton so she can turn it into a rooftop bar called “The Lock Him Up Lounge.”
Turn it into a hotel for housing all the migrants that red state governors keep bussing to New York.
Turn it into the world's biggest homeless shelter.
Turn it into a “Museum of the Cultural Contributions of Mexican-Americans.”
Rename it the as the “War Hero John McCain Hospital For Wounded Veterans.”
Put a wind turbine on the top, and convert the entire building’s power system to run purely off wind power.
Build a “Hall of Fame of Golf Cheaters” on the 45th floor featuring an entire wing dedicated to the cheating accomplishments of Donald Trump.
Build a “Hall of Fame of Bald Americans” on the 45th floor naming Donald Trump as having the “#1 Combover Of All Time.”
Turn it into a giant Black church.
Build a walk-through gallery featuring all the Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony award-winning artists Trump has called “overrated.”
Host Ivanka-Trump-At-Age-16 look-alike contests, and slowly torture Trump by refusing him entry when he begs and pleads to be allowed to watch.
Install a 10-foot statue of Mike Pence in the front lobby with a plaque saying “Hero of the Constitution.”
Turn the ground floor into an adult diaper outlet store.
Host children’s cancer charity fundraisers… FOR FREE.
Increase the rent on all of Trump’s current Russian and Chinese tenants exponentially until both countries have to abandon their spy offices there.
Turn it into a museum on the history of windmills.
Lease several floors to the Department of Health and Human Services to move all the offices overseeing Obamacare there.
Lease several floors to the IRS for a special agency division dedicated specifically to suing billionaire tax cheats.
Let Jack Smith have all the office space he needs rent-free until Trump is convicted for his ninety-one felony counts across four indictments.
Disable the elevators from using the first floor so visitors must use the stairway to the second floor to access the elevators, meaning that Donald Trump can never ascend in the building higher than the lobby ever again.
Turn the first few floors into the “Letitia James State of New York Courthouse.”
Follow me on Twitter, Threads, Spoutible, or Post.News to interrupt your daily doomscrolling with Dada news, and follow me on Medium to keep up with my daily writing studio.
Check out my poetry book Cabaret No Stare, available in print and on Kindle.
Also check out my book “Satire In The Trump Years: The Best Of The Halfway Post,” available on Barnes & Noble and Amazon.
WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT?
YOU NEED TO FILL THE BASEMENT WITH RDX AND DISMOUNT THIS CABINET TOGETHER WITH THE DEMOCRATS. . . . . . .