This Week’s Reasons Not To Respect The GOP
The top Dada news headlines from The Halfway Post!
McDonalds is reportedly planning a major branding overhaul to try and disassociate their fast food chain with Donald Trump.
Fox News watching QAnon believers in East Palestine say they’d prefer a toxic train derailing in their town every day rather than the communist federal government mandating rail companies install better brakes.
A top RNC official claims Donald Trump also won the 2008 and 2012 elections, but those were rigged as well.
Donald Trump has reportedly told close friends that he dug an underground bunker beneath Ivana’s casket where he can hide if the DOJ indicts him.
Donald Trump claims he’ll reveal a “big, beautiful plan” to end the war in Ukraine that will make both Putin and Zelensky happier than they could ever believe “in two weeks.”
Josh Hawley: “No one in the Senate gets harder on child pornography than me.”
Donald Trump is reportedly worried that a major river is going to catch fire and make him look bad when people remember he cut all the regulations that kept corporations from dumping toxins in rivers.
Rudy Giuliani says if Donald Trump doesn’t pay him the money he’s owed, he “may have some information Jack Smith would find very interesting.”
The GOP’s proposals for a divorced country would include the new Confederacy abolishing all taxes, child labor laws, vaccines, regulations concerning food and transportation safety, incest laws, child marriage laws, and bestiality laws.
C-SPAN cameras caught Marjorie Taylor Greene sprinkling a shaker of salt in Lauren Boebert’s coffee on the House floor.
Donald Trump is reportedly sending a bottle of scotch to Rudy Giuliani every morning hoping that if Rudy stays drunk he won’t turn state’s witness against him.
Donald Trump says Ivanka is out of his will if she or Jared Kushner rats on him to Special Counsel Jack Smith.
At a pro-life fundraiser tonight, Donald Trump said he bets Joe Biden has paid for more abortions than he has.
Donald Trump reportedly hit a baby in the face when he was tossing out his Trump water bottles to the residents of East Palestine.
Donald Trump says he will NOT be tasting any of his “Trump Water” bottles to assure the people of East Palestine that the decade-old water bottles he gave them are safe to drink.
Donald Trump says Ivanka better not rat him out to the DOJ’s grand jury, or he’ll release the “risqué photos” he has of the two of them.
Donald Trump says “No one could have known train brakes were so complicated” back when he canceled Obama’s train brake regulations.
It is actually quite spectacular how stupid Fox News executives think their viewers are (no satire).
Marjorie Taylor Greene, Mike Lindell, and Kari Lake are reportedly starting a podcast together.
Kari Lake reportedly walked into the House of Representatives today and insisted she had been elected as one of Arizona’s representatives.
Ron DeSantis, in an apparent attack on Donald Trump, says if he is elected president he’ll arrest all users of unprescribed Adderall.
Jared Kushner refuses to let the media see his laptop.
Rudy Giuliani was just put in charge of Donald Trump’s GenZ outreach for his 2024 presidential campaign.
Thanks for your eyeballs!
—Dash MacIntyre
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Haven't the people of East Palestine suffered enough? Trump water? Probably tastes of flop sweat and failure. (ᗒ ᗨᗕ)