Trump Had Several "Diva Requests" For The Qataris To Put In His New Plane

Donald Trump is America's biggest diva.

May 12, 2025

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The capacity to stay airborne for the next 4 years straight, and get in-flight refuelings from the Air Force so he doesn’t have to come down and see the depression-level effects his trade wars will turn into a new Great Depression
State-of-the-art golf simulators
Doors with facial recognition lock capabilities that will block Eric from ever boarding
3 solid gold toilets for his own exclusive use, and only squatting-style bathrooms with no toilets — just holes in the floor — for the fake news journalists to use
A room full of kennels he can force disloyal Republican members of Congress to crawl into and lock them in throughout the duration of the trip
Several couches with plastic covers that can be easily sprayed down and cleaned for JD Vance’s office
No Muslim or Arab stuff
The Qataris have to pinky swear the plane isn’t embedded everywhere with microphones and hidden cameras, and that they didn’t sneak in some spyware that can let them hack into the computer systems of the plane and remotely control it to hold him hostage
One makeup room for himself, and another (smaller) for Pete Hegseth
A room for Melania on the complete opposite side of the Presidential Suite with a separate door and ramp so she doesn’t have to board with Donald, per Melania’s unflappable demand
A walk-in fridge stocked with 1,000 Diet Coke cans
An office with no lights, windows, and walls molded to look like a cave for Stephen Miller, with a coffin for him to sleep in
A fully stocked bar in the office Pete Hegseth gets to use when he comes along
Several emergency buckets of KFC chicken to be restocked or replaced for freshness daily

A bunch of photos of Ivanka hanging on the walls
A fully stocked wine bar in the office Jeanine Pirro gets to use when she comes along
An office for Elon Musk with every video game console and enough room for his half-dozen video game players he pays to rotate through 8-hour shifts to keep him in the top ten of the leaderboards for whatever video game he’s currently pretending he’s an expert genius at
Peepholes and secret cameras in the women’s bathrooms
Hidden cameras and microphones in every room to collect blackmail on everyone he brings aboard
A fully staffed McDonald’s franchise

A stone replica of Mt. Rushmore that features his head four times
A BFF shrine with a candle he lights in the evenings to honor his greatest platonic love, Jeffrey Epstein, the only guy, he’d tell Jeff, that “just gets me”
A TV in every single room that exclusively plays Fox News
A shower in the presidential suite with extra strong water pressure in the shower
Missiles so he can occasionally shoot down a windmill he’s flying over
A little pen of Andean marmots that he promises are just because he loves them as pets, and not because their fur is used to stitch into his hair to achieve his trademark combover look, and a facial recognizing lock on the door so Kristi Noem can’t shoot one of them
Lots of boxes for him to store his daily presidential briefings in that he says are so he can read them later
A photocopier with a big shelf of paper stock he says are “definitely not for making copies he can bring to Mar-a-Lago and hand off to big donors who are giving him tens of millions of dollars in his Trump stock, and his Trump crypto, and his Trump NFTs, and his Trump shoes, and his Trump coins, and his Trump Bible, and all his other Trump merch and schemes” 🥃

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