Trump Has New Trading Card NFTs Going On Sale Tomorrow

This batch continues the first batch’s comic book hero themes, but it adds his fellow Republican presidential primary opponents

Photo by Jp Valery on Unsplash

Donald Trump’s latest money laundering scheme, or rather once-in-a-lifetime investment opportunity, of NFT trading cards made him so much money to pay off his obscene personal debts and lawyer fees, he’s bringing them back for a second batch!

This batch continues the first batch’s comic book hero themes, but it adds his fellow Republican presidential primary opponents as his enemies in a manner criticized by many across the whole political spectrum as stupid, bigoted, and certainly juvenile.

The following are all stock descriptions of some of Trump’s NFTs about to be unveiled tomorrow:

• Nikki Haley wearing a sari and being strangled by a snake Trump is controlling with a flute

• Trump as a ghost that looks suspiciously Klan-esque scaring Tim Scott into a heart attack

• Trump choking Vivek Ramaswamy with a computer cord in the Metaverse

• Ramaswamy wearing a turban and being strangled by a snake Trump is controlling with a flute

• Trump riding in a hot air balloon made out of Chris Christie

• Trump cheering on a crowd hanging Mike Pence in front of Congress

• Trump shoving Election 2020’s electoral votes down Pence’s throat

• Trump strangling Pence

• Trump laughing with an arms-folded God and a head-shaking Jesus as Pence is denied entry into Heaven

• Trump pulling the lever of the heavenly trapdoor so Pence falls through the clouds down to Hell

• Trump laughing as Jesus lowers a guillotine blade decapitating Pence

• Trump taking Pence’s daughters out furniture shopping

• Trump as a superhero flying into space, grabbing the moon, and smashing it down on Ron DeSantis

• Trump watching as a Mickey Mouse character sexually assaults DeSantis

• Trump popping in a Tic Tac in a bed with DeSantis’s wife Casey while DeSantis is in the corner of the room handcuffed to a chair

• Trump making out with DeSantis’s wife Casey on DeSantis’s grave

• Trump at a courthouse adopting Ron’s children

• Ron’s wife Casey giving birth to a blonde baby girl named “Ivanka 2”

• Casey being buried at Trump’s Bedminster golf course next to Ivana

• Trump finding the Fountain of Youth in a shit-hole country and transforming into a 35-year-old body with six-pack abs

• Trump being crucified on a cross with the caption “They’re coming for you, I’m just standing in their way”

• A newspaper headline saying “Trump Elected As America’s Dictator-For-Life With 98% Of The Vote!” and below that a headline saying “Obama’s Kenyan Birth Certificate Found — Trump Vindicated!”

• A scene from Trump’s 100th birthday party in the Oval Office with his 5th wife sitting on his lap.

• Trump waking up in bed and ringing his butler bell for Lindsey Graham to come give him his first morning Diet Coke

• The White House turned into a 100-story Trump Tower D.C.

• Vladimir Putin giving Trump a “Best President In History” coffee mug

• Trump and Putin marrying each other’s daughters, and blood-mixing their families into the biggest political alliance in world history

• Trump on a raft in a storm of flooding period blood from Liz Cheney

• Trump on a raft in a storm of flooding period blood from Nikki Haley

• Trump planting a US flag on Greenland with tanks and fighter jets behind him

• Trump speaking at the United Nations with the other members laughing with him and not at him

• Trump wearing tattered clothing and holding Kim Jong-un’s daughter, Kim Ju Ae, in his arms with a nuclear blast in the background

• Trump fighting alien spaceships as a Space Force pilot

• Trump looking out over a 50-foot border wall with Mexico

• Trump judging women in bikinis at a Miss Trump beauty pageant co-judged with Matt Gaetz and Kanye West

• Trump’s testicles slapping Barack Obama in the face as Trump dunks a basketball over Obama’s head in a basketball match with the scoreboard showing Trump is winning by 90 points

• Trump hanging Jeffrey Epstein in his prison cell and giving a “shhh” gesture with his finger on his lip

• Joe Biden tearing off his face and revealing he was Donald Trump all along, just like QAnon said

• Trump on a bed with sheets colored like jungle trees while several prostitutes pee on each other, and a caption that says “Trump’s Vietnam”

• Just a big text size caption that says “Trump DID NOT have untreated syphilis for most of the 1980s! That is FAKE NEWS and CLASSIFIED!”

• A nude image of Trump with hyperbolical genitals

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