Trump Voters Are Planning A Hunger Strike If Trump Loses The Election
And this week's other Dada News headlines!
A growing number of Trump fans fueled by viral videos on conservative Instagram and TikTok channels say if Kamala Harris wins the election they will start a hunger strike.
The number one video on several porn sites right now just says “Ted Cruz might lose.”
A leaked memo from Fox News reveals that the network’s interviewers regularly use Vicks VapoRub when interviewing Donald Trump because he smells like, as one Fox producer called it, “rotten roast beef.”
Donald Trump says he’ll reveal his plan to stop all hurricanes in “two weeks.”
After Donald Trump claimed he had a better beach body than Kamala Harris and Barack Obama, Harris reportedly said, “Trump has bigger boobs than me.”
A homophobic televangelist from Arkansas is accusing “the gays” of manipulating the weather, and says you can tell because the eyes of hurricanes “look like little buttholes from space.”
A group of MAGA fans in Tampa Bay are convinced Hurricane Milton was a fake psy-op to convince Florida patriots to leave their homes so Kamala Harris can bus in illegal immigrants to move into their houses and declare squatters’ rights.
Joe Biden reportedly sent Donald Trump a specially engraved Sharpie marker ahead of Hurricane Milton’s landfall that said, “Hurricane-Trajectory-Changing Magic Marker.”
Donald Trump says Barack Obama is committing presidential harassment against him by mocking him in speeches, and then shortly after accused Obama of dropping the ball on COVID.
An outbreak of E. coli and Salmonella is currently raging through a group of MAGA fans in Idaho who have started drinking raw milk following Marjorie Taylor Greene’s accusation that pasteurization is a Jewish plot to secretly vaccinate dairy consumers against COVID.
The “Freedom Hospital” in Wyoming funded by MAGA fans that claims vaccines are a communist hoax, gives patients daily doses of ivermectin, and only serves unpasteurized milk in the cafeteria just bought a dozen of Tucker Carlson’s testicle tanning machines.
Donald Trump says Kamala Harris bringing up his face makeup during her Fox News interview is “crossing a red line.”
Donald Trump says the media reporting on his increasingly common, public, and audible incontinence issues is “crossing a brown line.”
Donald Trump claimed tonight Barack Obama wears diapers, not him.
The MAGA group “White Supremacists 4 Trump,” who have been collecting and freezing a “doomsday supply of white semen” in an Alaskan bunker, have reportedly banned members from drinking glasses of unpasteurized milk while working because of “several unfortunate mixups.”
Donald Trump is reportedly not going to endorse Senator John Cornyn in his next election for posting the photo of them together where Trump’s makeup looks like he’s a clown.
Donald Trump’s staffers are privately alarmed about his mental acuity because two days in a row this week he went out golfing with green makeup on his face instead of orange.
Mike Lindell is reportedly furious that Elon Musk is stealing his schtick of libeling voting machine companies, spreading crackpot conspiracy theories, and ruining his companies.
BREAKING: Trump has not golfed since his latest assassination attempt, and has used all his extra free time to reconnect with Melania, spend time with Don Jr. and Eric, volunteer for charity, and study up on how healthcare works so he can replace Obamacare with something better.
Part of RFK Jr.’s deal to endorse Trump reportedly included a promise from Trump to fund a “Lewis & Clark” style expedition Kennedy could lead through the Pacific Northwest to find a sasquatch so RFK Jr. can “do experiments” on its body and decapitated head.
A televangelist from Alabama, who is predicting Donald Trump will win all 50 states in the Electoral College, pledged to his congregation at this morning’s service, “I’m so sure of it if I’m wrong I’ll do butt stuff.”
Last night Donald Trump was awarded CoverGirl’s “Makeup Ambassador of the Year” award.
Eric Trump is reportedly relieved that his father has dementia, and that’s why he never hears “I love you.”
Donald Trump reportedly interrupted a wedding at Mar-a-Lago last night and “weaved” for 26 minutes about Arnold Palmer’s dong again, how the US Navy should be killing more sharks, and how he has 100 Trump watches left that Saudi Arabia didn’t buy.
A new leaked memo from Fox News suggests the network keeps several changes of pants for Donald Trump in their green room in case of “incidents.”
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That will lower the cost of food!
GOOD. Get the morons off the face of the earth