Who Is Trump’s Mole? Here Are The Top Suspects
Moles and rats are everywhere!
The specific knowledge the FBI seemed to possess about the top secret documents Donald Trump was hiding at Mar-a-Lago suggests someone close to him flipped and became a mole for federal investigators.
Who was the mole? These are the most likely suspects!
Jared Kushner: Jared is perhaps the funniest potential mole. It’s quite suspicious that he was given $2 billion to invest from Mohammed bin Salman against the recommendations of advisers for the Saudi Arabian foreign wealth fund. Donald Trump usually gets very upset when he feels that people are profiting off of him and not giving him a cut, so it begs the question of whether or not some of Jared’s $2 billion was meant for Donald. Maybe Jared is betraying his father-in-law to keep that money all for himself?
There’s also the matter of Trump’s unusual publicly admitted sexual interest in his daughter, so perhaps Jared is also sidelining his biggest romantic rival.
Mark Meadows: Meadows is a weak, little man, and likely has drastically more obvious criminal exposure to many of Trump’s alleged crimes because he was the chief-of-staff through who most political communications traveled on their way to Trump. Whereas Trump has a mob boss instinct to not keep a paper trail, Meadows turned over thousands of documents to the January 6th Committee before he started flip-flopping on his interest in cooperating. This gives him expansive exposure to having accidentally incriminated himself or committed perjury, particularly with the election fraud effort to pass on fake slates of electors, for which he was a point man coordinating between members of Congress, the White House, and even Fox News hosts.
It has been reported that Trump is being warned to stop communicating with Meadows, so the suspicion that he has flipped is high.
Rudy Giuliani: Rudy has disgraced his legacy as “America’s Mayor,” lost his law license, disgraced himself with a plethora of embarrassing shames (the Four Seasons parking lot incident, getting caught by Borat with his hands in his pants, the hair dye streak, and doing a bunch of media appearances visibly drunk), and participated in many of Trump’s January 6th and election fraud schemes. He’s also being investigated on his own for acting as a foreign agent and possibly some election finance crimes. Does Rudy want to spend the rest of his life in prison? He could shave off some years or get a sweetheart deal by ratting out Trump.
Donald Trump Jr.: The FBI could visit Donald Jr. at his home on just about any day of the week, and likely catch him high out of his mind on several drugs. Don Jr.’s speech at the 2020 Republican National Convention featured bright red, glassy eyes, so if he’s blatantly doing drugs right before a nationally-televised address, it would not be surprising if he’s blatantly doing drugs recreationally at home as well. Catch him in the act, and offer to let him off with a warning for some key testimony against his dad.
Ivanka Trump: Ivanka is still young and has very Trumpian delusions of grandeur about herself as a woman of historical significance. Her dad is super old, and is long overdue for a karmic comeuppance. If she has any of her dad’s malignant narcissism, she’ll throw him to the DOJ wolves to save herself. She and Jared earned an incomprehensible $640 million in the four years while working for her dad in the White House, and Jared has his Saudi $2 billion, so they have decades of quite spectacularly obscene wealth to enjoy.
Jared and Ivanka totally embody the famous F. Scott Fitzgerald quote fromThe Great Gatsby: “They were careless people, Tom and Daisy — they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made.” She doesn’t care about her dad at all.
Melania: Melania spent four years of her life miserably being forced to be the First Lady of a country she’s not from, and doing a superficial pantomime of the job. She was criticized and mocked nonstop deservedly for showing little empathy for Americans, plagiarizing Michelle Obama, and rarely being able to even pretend she had any love for her husband. With Trump planning to run for president again, her interest in avoiding another four years of White House captivity makes her a top mole suspect.
Eric Trump: Eric probably self-incriminates himself, folds, and then flips on everyone in the first 30 seconds anytime he has to give sworn testimony.
MORE OF MY COMEDY:
Someone In The FBI Leaked What Was Found At Mar-A-Lago!
Donald Trump’s Daily Hair And Makeup Routine Takes 2 Hours
Germany Was Not Sending Its Best When Frederick Trump Cam 1885
A Republican Candidate Is So Anti-Gay That Everyone Is Assuming He’s Secretly Gay
Thanks for your eyeball attention!
-Dash MacIntyre
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