319 Comments
User's avatar
Roberta Nan Kolar's avatar

I cannot discern whether this is satire or reality. In either case, I did not find it amusing. Maybe it's just me?

Expand full comment
The Halfway Cafe's avatar

My satire is the only thing that will get me through these next four years. I fight Trumpian absurdity with more absurdity!

Expand full comment
Sarah Anders's avatar

Perhaps… But honestly, all of us are exhausted, and if we have to research every one of your articles to see if it’s actually satire or reality, then I’m gonna unsubscribe. At the very least you need to start the article with “this is satire”. And remember our goal is not to spread disinformation. So do what you need to do to get through these years… I get it. All I ask is that you consider labeling your articles so people know and not spread disinformation.

Expand full comment
Ursula Boldt's avatar

He did, but you seem to not know where to find that information. Hint: it’s at the end. You know, just like in every article. Please find another thread to complain about your gripes. We love the satire on here.

Expand full comment
Robert Lindsay's avatar

I thought it was all real. He needs to put “satire” at the very beginning.

Expand full comment
Ursula Boldt's avatar

I thought so, too, but only for five or so bullet points. I went straight to his profile pic and learned that it was satire/joke. But yes, the points that were made are valid. Too many people still not reading with critical skills. I get it.

Expand full comment
Kat Shotz's avatar

Go elsewhere then.

Defeats the whole purpose of THINKING.

That why the vm orange one is in Oval and of course many of us believe muskrat bought it so he could cb have the cb power he could not have otherwise.

Expand full comment
John Gettler's avatar

It’s not labelled satire at the end.

Expand full comment
Ursula Boldt's avatar

Hmmm? I saw this:

Enjoy my comedy and political commentary? Buy me a coffee!

But first subscribe to my free Substack The Halfway Café to get my work delivered right to your inbox. In this second Trump Era of surrealist governance, nothing is more important than comedy, so consider becoming a paid member to help support me tirelessly mocking Trump and his MAGA movement. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Expand full comment
Roberta Nan Kolar's avatar

I do not condemn satire, but I would expect to get the ironic humor through the piece itself rather than need to read the small print AFTER I've read the piece. The daily circus clown show is distressing to me, and to many others. That's what makes it so hard to know, and now we have the Vonce (I believe this means "bedbug" in Yiddish.) imitating his new daddy, vying with his new competitor. It's a lot.

Expand full comment
Ursula Boldt's avatar

Sorry, but that is on you! Like I said, I got it after the fifth bullet point or so. This is the whole point, though. Critical reading and listening skills are hugely important and should kick in automatically. But a lot of students/kids are also not adequately educated to catch misinformation, either.

Expand full comment
Roberta Nan Kolar's avatar

How does one "catch" misinformation? The current state of the Union is victim to the whims and fancies of a seriously disturbed perverted administration. I am continuously asking the universe "Did that really happen?" Sadly, all too frequently these days, the answer is "yes, it did." So, satire, a premier vehicle for exposing tyranny, becomes dicey. What is happening in the US is globally unbelievable but all too true.

If you, Ursula, can't see that big picture, then I question your value to the resistance

A movement cannot succeed if individuals claiming to be brothers and sisters in the struggle are putting down fellow travelers, attacking others' ability to think.

You will fail in your mission. You (we) need all the help we can get.

Expand full comment
lora eskandari's avatar

i agree. i feel like i wasted my time thinking i was reading something true. and its no comfort to say “it could be”.

Expand full comment
Mr. D.'s avatar

Sarah, for heaven’s sake - TAKE A JOKE. It may be our only way to cope for the next 406 weeks.

Expand full comment
Roberta Nan Kolar's avatar

Unfortunately, as in Germany in 1938 or 1934, what is happening around us is one disaster after another. ICE is terrifying immigrants both legal and undocumented. Many naturalized citizens with brown skin are also bullied with terrorism. They are having a hard time "Taking a Joke."

Expand full comment
Roberta Nan Kolar's avatar

We all want to be amused and at least momentarily distracted from the horror show that is our reality. Never Trumper you are very harsh with others who are on the same wave. Not a way to contribute to a political movement.

Expand full comment
Kate Powell's avatar

Thank you Sarah. My thoughts exactly.

Expand full comment
Roberta Nan Kolar's avatar

Or actually make it funny.

And you, Ursula, are not a caring person. Your message is " if you don't think this is humorous, you should leave." I wonder what John Lewis would say about your remarks. Or all those who used to be a significant part of the strength of the Democratic Party and now wear beards and MAGA hats.

Expand full comment
WAKE.UP.'s avatar

Sorry but I have to agree with the "NAY sayers":

You may well think the subject matter "entertaining", but it is not at all "amusing", PLUS wayyyyy too long & thereby too TIME-CONSUMING to wish to follow.

= (at the very least) You need to get yourself an EDITOR, girl! 😖

Expand full comment
Martyn Smith's avatar

We've got to the point (truth is we did years ago) where it's impossible to tell satire from truth. It used to be pretty easy

Expand full comment
Sandra Blessman's avatar

Wouldn’t be surprised if it was true. He is such a vile species of I don’t know what there is no name for his kind. Gross

Expand full comment
Never Trumper's avatar

Honestly Sarah Anders, you should go somewhere, because you sound like a dumbass Rupiblitard and just reading your whiny post is shit I do not want to see. Bye, do not let the door hit you in the back side….

Expand full comment
Richard's avatar

Don't change shit. Nothing. Buyer beware, this Halfway Cafe is for shits and grins. It makes me laugh, and very often cuts to the bone. If you need to complain, and want disclaimers put up, move along. There's nothing to see here.

A dedicated reader

Expand full comment
Roberta Nan Kolar's avatar

Disclaimers are annoying and generally useless. It's a different game to play with satire when we cannot believe what is happening IRL daily. So, did he really do that? He really couldn't have done that. He did? No, he didn't yesterday, but said he will tomorrow.

Expand full comment
Roberta Nan Kolar's avatar

I think he is beating you in the absurdity race.

Expand full comment
User's avatar
Comment deleted
Jan 27
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
Marci Vincente's avatar

lol, right? It’s totally plausible😭

Expand full comment
Karen McNeely's avatar

Agree, this read is a great example of lies with just enough truth to make some people believe idiocy. We have enough real insanity as is. Trump supporter will use such as this to proof their dear idol is treated sooo unfairly. I would hope in the future Lisa will use her talent to humorously call out the real insane or stupid lies so that people realize how ridiculous their support of this lower life form actually is.

Expand full comment
Never Trumper's avatar

Disagree! Its completely believable and really why do you care unless you are a Trump Voter and if you are go to hell.

Expand full comment
JoanG's avatar

If you haven't noticed, people on, Substack tend to be nicer than people on the lower platforms. Maybe you would better be served going back to one of them?

Expand full comment
Michael F Thomas's avatar

I did find it amusing once I realized it was satire. But it’s sad how long it took me to realize.

Expand full comment
Carly Camacho's avatar

Me, too. I was going to ReStack….but it’s just too believable.

Expand full comment
Margaret Tomlinson's avatar

Me neither. Seems like satire is dead. This man is just too weird to satirize.

Expand full comment
Dylan Devi Hawley Krakowski's avatar

This was absolutely me

Expand full comment
Paulette Williams's avatar

When people show you who they are the(first time) believe them, and he showed who he was the (first time) and you still don’t believe him. Trump does not give a damn about anyone but himself, if he can use you he will, and when he finish using you he’ll get rid of you like your trash. That is who he is.

Expand full comment
Dan B's avatar

You can contrast this with actual, proven accounts of his behavior & draw your conclusions. It's probably closer to reality than satire, but both intertwine when it comes to tRump and his entire clown show of an administration.

Expand full comment
Roberta Nan Kolar's avatar

I agree. That’s why it's getting difficult to know when to laugh.

Expand full comment
Kathy Thompson's avatar

I don’t think it’s meant to be funny, rather informative about who we have in the powerful position as President of the United States. It’s shameful that we have such a pompous, disgusting individual as a representative of the American people. He’s an orange, shitty pants clown. I want him out. #8647

Expand full comment
ktuna's avatar

Not real. Those that know Trump say he is extremely kind and caring.

Expand full comment
Atl🔅Av8r's avatar

Now THAT’s satire 😳

Expand full comment
Roberta Nan Kolar's avatar

Which is why so many of his employees work for him for so very long. Especially lawyers.

Expand full comment
Beth Jordan's avatar

Um no. That’s never been a thing.

Expand full comment
Sandra Blessman's avatar

What a lie.

Expand full comment
Maureen Dolan's avatar

It’s satire 😊

Expand full comment
Katherine's avatar

Satire, I doubt it. Reality, I pity anyone who is now, or had to deal with all of that. For me it was amusing and gross at the same time.

Expand full comment
Susan Gagne's avatar

Yep, just you.

Expand full comment
Roberta Nan Kolar's avatar

Apparently not.

Expand full comment
lora eskandari's avatar

i think, in our present “state of the union”, satire has become reality. i used to love satire. let’s just save it until this is over.

Expand full comment
John sauls's avatar

Yeah, it’s probably just you

Expand full comment
Ursula Boldt's avatar

Yes, it’s just you! And the fact that you don’t read the “fine print” at the end, which has the answer to your question, makes me think you are just like them: no idea how to distinguish fact from fiction.

Expand full comment
User's avatar
Comment deleted
Jan 29
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
Kat Shotz's avatar

I agree. V anyway I believe it’s closer to the truth than anyone realize! lol sadly

Expand full comment
Never Trumper's avatar

I totally love it and he is such an ass, it is exactly what he deserves….keep it coming.

Expand full comment
Mr. D.'s avatar

Print, post. Repeat.

Expand full comment
Lisa Leonardi's avatar

Seems as if almost every one of those would actually be true.

Expand full comment
Kat Shotz's avatar

Those who know say many of these things!

Expand full comment
Melody A Wilkerson's avatar

My thoughts too.

Expand full comment
BRipley67's avatar

Making McCarthy walk back from VA on a monthly basis? Just b/c you would like it to be true doesn’t mean it is true.

Expand full comment
Nettie | Twisted Haus Reads's avatar

What is sad is that most of this believable.

Expand full comment
Shannon Murphy's avatar

Sadly, at this point in our exceedingly unhinged political discourse I think we need to clearly state what is satire and what is not.

Expand full comment
Ursula Boldt's avatar

Hint: it’s spelled out clearly at the end.

Expand full comment
lora eskandari's avatar

that’s the problem. waste of time and emotion. not right to do at this time.

Expand full comment
Never Trumper's avatar

I think you should just set it to less like this if you are so offended…the rest of us love it. FDT and his Voters!

Expand full comment
Daniel Alcala's avatar

I just clicked on the article and started reading. As I got to the very end, my jaw kept getting closer to the floor and then I immediately started looking to see the sources… it was the halfway cafe lol.

Expand full comment
The Halfway Cafe's avatar

Teehee the #1 Trump satirist strikes again!

Expand full comment
Liz Tillotson's avatar

At first I believed every word then I realized it was satire. Whereas it was funny and believable I really wished it were true. Definitely we’re living in Bizarro World.

Expand full comment
Never Trumper's avatar

Really your jaw was dropping? It is so close to his character and it did not surprise me at all. He is a disgusting asshole.

Expand full comment
It's Come To This's avatar

Several years ago, during the first Trump imposition, I was at National Cathedral for a Christmas service when the Turd arrived. He wore a heavy greatcoat, took it off and just dropped it as he went to the pew. A Marine guard caught it before it fell on the floor. The Imperious Asshole never once turned around, never once acknowledged the Marine guard who kept his coat from gettin soiled, nothing. It was like watching Marie Antoinette without the poofy dress. The little people are just supposed to clean up after he shits all over the place. Awful man.

Expand full comment
Marianne Cromarty's avatar

You know, even if it wasn’t satire I believe that Trump’s stinks terribly and disgustingly! I think he looks stinky, sweaty, greasy! He looks like walking stinking lard, greasy foul disgusting 🤢🤮! He makes Oscar the grouch for n the Sesame Street garbage can seem like such a nice clean guy! Trump couldn’t fit in a garage can but he could fit in an NYC dumpster, smell like a dumpster! Yeah, he stinks and he fouls his depends with his nasty feces often because he is full of shit!

Expand full comment
Susan L's avatar

Bleah, your description nearly made me gag 🤢 gotta agree though

Expand full comment
Never Trumper's avatar

Wait, Trump doesn’t already make you gag?

Expand full comment
Kristine's avatar

Is there anything in this article not 100%true? Where is the satire?

Expand full comment
The Halfway Cafe's avatar

Lol most of it is at least halfway true.

Expand full comment
Kristine's avatar

You’re very talented 🙂

Expand full comment
The Halfway Cafe's avatar

Thanks! :D

Expand full comment
Never Trumper's avatar

Good point, yeah i believe its pretty true.

Expand full comment
Morgan OCailleigh's avatar

I suspect a great deal of this is true. Living on the edge of reality....

Thanks Dash for reminding us that our imaginations have yet to catch up with the real world 🌎.

Expand full comment
The Halfway Cafe's avatar

It's gonna be a long four years, but if we mock Trump enough we might just get through it! :D

Expand full comment
Never Trumper's avatar

His schizophrenia also gets worse when he is stressed, stressors for him are posting he has a low IQ, low ratings, and he stinks, which are all true.

Expand full comment
Nancy Tonelli's avatar

If only the news picked this story up and forced every maga to endure him.

Expand full comment
Never Trumper's avatar

Yeah, post it he lies about people, calls them vile names…he deserves this and way worse in my book. Another day without his Obit is a rainy day.

Expand full comment
Better_Angel_0125's avatar

Sadly. . . It's Satire.

Expand full comment
Steve Glicken, MD's avatar

Is any of this chuckleworthy prose actually true? Really?

Expand full comment
The Halfway Cafe's avatar

It's all halfway true... my specialty is halfway true news :D

Expand full comment
Liz Tillotson's avatar

So still more accurate than MSM.

Expand full comment
D Lomangino's avatar

It would be nice if you clarified true vs satire, or at least included some very big hints.

Expand full comment
Never Trumper's avatar

I love it…So he didnt eat that much chicken huh? lol

Expand full comment
Ursula Boldt's avatar

And we are so here for it! Thank you for your service. 🤣

Expand full comment
Steve Glicken, MD's avatar

Which half? 🤪

Expand full comment
Steve Glicken, MD's avatar

Buwahahahaha! 🤣

Expand full comment
Ellyn's avatar

Well done!

I had to keep questioning: real?????

Expand full comment
The Halfway Cafe's avatar

That's my specialty of comedy! :D

Expand full comment
Ellyn's avatar

I’m so conflicted, tho- some of it I want so much to be REAL!! 💕

Expand full comment
Never Trumper's avatar

Most of it is….

Expand full comment
Atl🔅Av8r's avatar

I was all in… totally believable, until sex dreams about Nancy Pelosi 😆

Expand full comment
The Halfway Cafe's avatar

Ha that was the one that a lot of people say made them stop believing it as real :D

Expand full comment
BA22's avatar

All this has been known since his first presidency. His cabinet said very similar stuff. And here we are! Amazing.🤦‍♀️🙄

Expand full comment
Brian Coogan's avatar

Damn damn damn, I thought these were real!!! But I bet some secretly are 100% true!

Expand full comment
Pete's Mom's avatar

Dang, that headline got my attention and I read a good deal of it but then I thought “who has posted this?” I scrolled back up and just shook my head. I should have known. Even she said very little of it is true but could be true. Ugh!

Expand full comment