Doctors Say Calling Trump A "Chicken" Is Raising His Blood Pressure And Could Kill Him

And this week's other graffiti news headlines!

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• Trump is reportedly accusing Vladimir Putin of “ghosting” him in the Ukrainian peace deal talks.

• Tensions are reportedly rising among Donald Trump’s trade advisers because Trump “won’t read anything,” and “doesn’t know the basic tenets of modern economics.”

• A liberal billionaire is now paying Internet trolls to pose as gay men to catch enough “family values” Republican members of Congress in homosexual sex stings so the ultra thin GOP majority flips to Democrats.

• Trump is reportedly furious that Americans nationwide will now always associate “Taco Tuesdays” forever for the rest of American history with the TACO acronym of “Trump Always Chickens Out.”

• Greenlanders are reporting record levels of patriotism, trust in their government, and democratic idealism following their nation-wide effort to come together and tell JD Vance to go home.

• The governments of Greenland and Panama are relieved Trump appears to have totally forgotten about them.

• Trump is reportedly starting to wonder why so many MAGA influencers online keep getting busted for having child porn or domestic abuse records, and is asking why he attracts people like that.

• Trump is reportedly threatening to sue any media company that reports on the trending hashtag “TrumpAlwaysChickensOut.”

• Trump is reportedly furious with Vladimir Putin, and claims Putin is ruining his “unblemished reputation as the world’s best dealmaker.”

• Putin is reportedly no longer answering Trump’s nighttime calls.

• A new poll found that a majority of Canadians would support joining the US if their 10 provinces could come in as 10 states with 20 Democratic senators, and then flip dozens of GOP House seats so they could stop Trump from wrecking global stability and trade.

• Buried in Trump’s newly revealed indictment files from last year is a detail suggesting intelligence officers from Israel and Qatar catfished Trump into sending them nude selfies while pretending to be aspiring models asking for his expert beauty pageant advice.

• A federal judge just ruled that the Trump Administration’s strict anti-transgender rules on using birth names means that Ted Cruz will now have to be referred to as “Rafael Cruz” in all official government records.

• Melania reportedly rewrote her will this week so it’s 100% clear she does not ever want to be buried at one of her husband’s golf courses.

• Trump just banned the White House cafeteria from having “Taco Tuesdays” following the social media hashtag #TrumpAlwaysChickensOut” going viral today.

• The Secret Service is requesting people stop ordering taco deliveries to Donald Trump at the White House.

• Trump’s doctors are reportedly worried his blood pressure is rising so high from “TACO” going viral that his heart might give up.

• OPINION: Trump is always let off the hook for not knowing anything he talks about. He uses such stupid and superlative vocabulary that he’s almost always sputtering like a kid doing a presentation on a book he didn’t read.

• Trump is furious after waking up to find some Gen Z teens staying at Mar-a-Lago wrote “TACO” in chalk all over the sidewalks and pool deck.

• A dozen taco trucks have parked on the streets around the White House, and are serving chicken tacos in honor of Trump always chickening out.

• Trump’s White House physicians say that if everyone doesn’t stop raising his blood pressure by calling him a chicken he might die.

• Following the news that Sydney Sweeney is selling soap that’s made from her bath water, Donald Trump is now selling that too to his dedicated MAGA fans. 🥃

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