Jesus Wants To Know Why “Christians” Aren’t Jewish
thehalfwaycafe.substack.com
Jesus Christ returned today 2,000 years after His crucifixion, and, following a brief look around Earth, apparently got angry at what he saw. “What the f*ck is a Christian?” Jesus demanded. “When did I say you didn’t have to be Jewish? Oh, that’s right, I didn’t! I’m a Jew! I ate only boring, kosher food, and I skipped out on eating shrimp and pork, and I never ate the fat of meat! You know why? Because the Bible is unambiguously clear that all the fat on meat must be offered to God! Seriously, who made up the rule that my followers don’t have to be Jewish? I don’t want to go around checking everyone’s penises to see who is circumcised, but I’ll do it if I have to!”
Jesus Wants To Know Why “Christians” Aren’t Jewish
Jesus Wants To Know Why “Christians” Aren’t…
Jesus Wants To Know Why “Christians” Aren’t Jewish
Jesus Christ returned today 2,000 years after His crucifixion, and, following a brief look around Earth, apparently got angry at what he saw. “What the f*ck is a Christian?” Jesus demanded. “When did I say you didn’t have to be Jewish? Oh, that’s right, I didn’t! I’m a Jew! I ate only boring, kosher food, and I skipped out on eating shrimp and pork, and I never ate the fat of meat! You know why? Because the Bible is unambiguously clear that all the fat on meat must be offered to God! Seriously, who made up the rule that my followers don’t have to be Jewish? I don’t want to go around checking everyone’s penises to see who is circumcised, but I’ll do it if I have to!”