Pam Bondi Knows We Know She's Lying About The Epstein Files

And this week's other graffiti news headlines!

Credit: Gage Skidmore | gageskidmore.com | via Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0)

• A new poll shows that 100% of Americans believe Pam Bondi knows we know she’s lying about the Epstein files not existing.

• Protesters are leaving dead fish, turtles, and snakes like breadcrumbs leading from a nearby lake filled with gators all the way to the “Alligator Alcatraz” sign to attract them to hang around and attack any sociopath MAGA fans trying to take photos.

• A televangelist from Texas says he doesn’t understand why God is still doing natural disasters when Donald Trump is president.

• Protesters have reportedly painted rainbows on the “Alligator Alcatraz” sign and added a “Y” so it says “Alligaytor.”

• Trump reportedly spent the weekend calling dozens of countries and begging them to buy more American soybeans so he can unveil one successful trade negotiation this week.

• Protesters of Trump’s “Alligator Auschwitz” concentration camp put up a second sign next to it that says, “Arbeit macht frei.”

• Trump is really hoping Pam Bondi’s blatant lies about the Epstein files will distract from the fact that he has no trade deals yet, and no foreign leaders are answering his increasingly desperate phone calls.

• A WWII veteran who stormed Normandy and fought in the Battle of the Bulge just died 3 hours after meeting with JD Vance.

• A group of 15 MAGA fans in Arkansas have begun a hunger strike they vow will last until Pam Bondi releases the Epstein files and finally exonerates Donald Trump from all the sex-trafficking pedophile allegations.

• Foreign leaders from 60 countries have reportedly made an unofficial “TACO Pact” where they’ve all committed to ignoring Trump’s erratic tariff threats and seeing how many times he’ll postpone his own deadlines.

• Trump is reportedly upset Jeffrey Epstein kept no records of their friendship.

• After months of the entire world ignoring Trump’s tariff threats because it’s American importers who have to pay the tariffs — not the international companies who export their products to the US—Trump has reportedly finally acknowledged that Americans are the ones who have to pay tariffs.

• Poor Republican voters are the dumbest people in America, and that’s much nicer than anything Republicans in Congress think about them.

• The “Alligator Alcatraz” sign reportedly has several bullet holes shot by former MAGA fans who have been persuaded that Trump’s concentration camp is unConstitutional, unAmerican, and tyrannical.

• Trump says the stench at the White House everyone keeps asking questions about and complaining about was left by Joe Biden.

• Trump says his Florida prison camp for migrants won’t have slave labor because he’ll direct ICE to ask for volunteers to do some of the jobs now vacant because ICE arrested so many undocumented workers in jobs white, native-born Americans won’t do.

• Iran is reportedly worried Trump is going to bomb them again to distract MAGA fans angry that Trump is blatantly and suspiciously burying the Epstein files.

• Trump is now claiming his dog ate the Epstein files, and by dog he means Lindsey Graham.

• I BET $5 that whoever wins the presidency in 2028 will inherit many trade deal negotiations that Trump can’t close, and he’ll keep postponing them for “two weeks” twice monthly for the next 3.5 years.

• A new poll found that 79% of Americans would be okay with D.O.G.E. stealing all our personal data as long as they find and reveal the Epstein files first. 🥃

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