Trump Staffers Say His Terrible Body Odor Is Obstructing His Agenda
Anonymous whistleblowers say Trump smells really, really, really bad.
Let’s remember that it’s widely agreed Trump smells like a dying old man whose Big Mac sauce drowned organs are rotting from the inside out.
Wannabe dictators constantly obsess over their media image because their strongmen personas depend on never admitting to any personal flaw or mistake, so let’s help ol’ Uncle Sam and the Constitution out a bit by reminding America every chance we get that Trump smells like shit.
What an amusing and patriotic way to fight back against Trump’s pugilistic egomania of sociopathic narcissism as he tries to dismantle our democracy and make himself a totalitarian!
Donald Trump just claimed his body odor “is protected by presidential immunity.”
Leaked private texts from JD Vance reveal him complaining about sitting too close to Trump during meetings because of Trump’s “sauerkraut stench.”
Trump claims the rumors about him smelling bad are both “fake news” and classified, and the leakers should be shot.
A Secret Service agent just confirmed that Trump’s codename is “Roast Beef” because agents have to spend so much time in close proximity to his body’s “foul deli odor.”
Dozens of the attendees crammed in the Capitol Rotunda for Trump’s inauguration speech described Trump’s stench as “nearly unbearable” and “reminiscent of expired roast beef.”
Trump was reportedly asked tonight to sign his signature on used diapers by several trolling Gen Z teens at Mar-a-Lago tonight.
Mar-a-Lago employees say over 20,000 diapers have been mailed to Trump’s resort since #TrumpSmells started trending regularly on Twitter last year.
Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway claims Trump just has “alternative scents.”
The DNC is now selling hats, shirts, cologne, deodorant, and perfume products with the label “Make Presidents Smell Nice Again.”
Trump’s non-disclosure agreements going back to the early 90s have included a clause mandating signees can’t mention his “spoiled-roast-beef-esque” body odor.
Trump is “poisoning the air of the country” with his stench.
Trump reportedly hates NATO and wants to pull the US out of the alliance because the prime minister of Belgium told him he needed some deodorant and a mint during a 2017 NATO summit in front of all the other world leaders.
Melania Trump laughed publicly for the first time ever on camera after being asked if her husband smelled bad, and she laughed for 19 seconds straight before she started gasping for air and swearing that she didn’t hear the question.
Trump reportedly smelled so bad during a G7 meeting in 2019 that he made Shinzo Abe and Angela Merkel, who were sitting on either side of him, both vomit.
Trump reportedly smells so bad because he doesn’t like seeing himself naked, and only showers once a week after looking at himself in the mirror and shouting out loud, “Fake news!”
Trump was overheard at Mar-a-Lago today yelling into his phone, “I have presidential immunity to smell however I want!”
During the presidential campaign, Kamala Harris began her answer to every question from media about Trump with the phrase, “Well, that depends.”
Trump’s vile body odor reportedly made it tough for him to hire some cabinet positions, and Trump was turned down by several Attorney General possibilities until Matt Gaetz and then Pam Bondi, who were used to Trump’s stench, agreed.
Trump has reportedly directed Elon Musk to fire any government employees who have ever posted online that Trump smells like expired roast beef.
Trump reportedly has no personal staffers left at the White House residence because they all quit citing his stench as being “much worse now than the first term.”
Trump interrupted a 50th wedding anniversary party at Mar-a-Lago to claim the generals come up to him with tears in their eyes and say, “Sir, you were the best smelling president of all time.”
Trump just installed a chimpanzee exhibit at Mar-a-Lago so he can blame the stench on the apes.
One potential juror in Trump’s New York trial was dismissed after she explained to the judge that she had hypersomia, an unusually heightened sense of smell, and Trump’s well-documented stench was wafting over from the defense table making it difficult for her to focus.
RFK Jr. accidentally said on a hot mic that Trump smells worse than the bear cub carcass he found on the side of the road back in 2014.
While Trump was walking in his inauguration parade, witnesses say they could see Trump’s infamous stench smoking off his body and not just smell it. 🥃
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Thanks for the laughs this morning! Lots of good ones in there. My favorite is the one about Melania laughing for 19 seconds. 😂
What if we just all start bullying Trump and calling him roast beef? He will be too pissed and distracted with trying to clarify that he in fact does not smell and hopefully that will stop him from getting anything else done