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LaurenAZGoodGirl's avatar

I may form a new church based on these new Jesus' teachings. The New Church of the Brown-eyed Pissed Off Jewsus. Instead of bread and wine as his body and blood, we'll serve grilled Cheezus sandwiches and tomato soup to all attendees. Services will be held anywhere outdoors under at most those cheap pop-up tents you can buy from Costco, held down by donated cinder blocks on ropes. Anyone with a net worth of more than $1m US need not attend and will not be served. There will be no preachers, pastors, deacons, sisters, bishops or popes. Money thrown in the collection plate will pay for more grilled Cheezus sandwiches and tomato soup. All discussions will be on the topic of we can all best serve our Lord and the poor. Amen.

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The Halfway Cafe's avatar

Sign me up!

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Kay-El's avatar

Hmmmm, grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup, comfort food favorites.

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The Halfway Cafe's avatar

Do the grilled cheese sandwiches turn into Jesus's flesh via transubstantiation? ha

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LaurenAZGoodGirl's avatar

No, they’re just pretty good grilled cheese sandwiches made in an official Grilled Cheezus sandwich press.

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Karen Scofield's avatar

Holy Smokes 😂 me think's someone didn't understand the assignment, Halfway?!! I liked the Satire here, (Not Literally) good read, Thank You 🙏 and will reStack ASAP 💯👍😃 !

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The Halfway Cafe's avatar

Thanks for restacking! :D

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SandraLea's avatar

Too funny! And as a Jew, I must say, I've never been able to figure out why so many of you Christians don't seem to be particularly Christian in deed.

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Debra Moore's avatar

Horrible.

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Eric Varnado's avatar

This type of humor is pure blasphemy! It’s not even slightly funny but highly offensive. May God have mercy on your soul!

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S. R. T. Allen's avatar

You might want to check with Jewish authorities before spewing lies and anti Semitic bullshit. I don't care if you're Jewish or not. Guess I won't be reading your column anymore.

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The Halfway Cafe's avatar

Did you read the article? How is this anti-Semitic? lol the whole thing is Jesus mocking fundamentalist Christians.

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Kay-El's avatar

Apparently they never read The Red Tent.

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Jan 7
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The Halfway Cafe's avatar

Ha good questions I'm also interested in the answers for :D

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Hey, I’m Jewish and found this to be PERFECTION!

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Kay-El's avatar

I suspect they mean rabbinical authorities.

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