26 Comments
User's avatar
Alanna's avatar

This is awesome. I’ll be watching from Canada. Be safe everyone ❤️

Expand full comment
The Halfway Cafe's avatar

Cheers from me under the iron curtain of our idiot wannabe dictator!

Expand full comment
Cathi Connelly's avatar

I have applied for my citizenship to Canada. I hope you welcome those of us that are sick of trump’s 💩

Expand full comment
The Halfway Cafe's avatar

Good luck! My wife is European and sometimes I contemplating moving there is shit really hits the fan here in the States!

Expand full comment
Jeneba's avatar

I can’t tell what is “true” anymore. 😂💙😂💙😂💙😂

Expand full comment
The Halfway Cafe's avatar

I'm okay with people believing all of my fibs that just make Trump look like the childish idiot we all know he is!

Expand full comment
Jeneba's avatar

Thanks for your brilliant fibs. 💙💙💙

Expand full comment
The Halfway Cafe's avatar

🥰

Expand full comment
Carol Smith's avatar

Hilarious… please be careful 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣… I’m Australian this sound like stuff people in my country would do

Expand full comment
The Halfway Cafe's avatar

Cheers! I've been watching a good amount of Geelong Cats footy lately 🍻

Expand full comment
Phyllis Mass's avatar

Keep it up. Fun, funny and dead on. Wish it were all true.

Expand full comment
The Halfway Cafe's avatar

Thanks! Hope you're subscribed so I can keep making you laugh 🍻

Expand full comment
Jennifer Wells's avatar

You have outdone yourself!

Expand full comment
The Halfway Cafe's avatar

Just always trying to make the people laugh! 🥰

Expand full comment
Nanette Hart's avatar

I hope this is true 😝🇺🇸😝

Expand full comment
The Halfway Cafe's avatar

At least one of these is likely true 😜

Expand full comment
Fredi Hensley's avatar

Drag queens and Mexicans go out in the noonday sun. Sounds like Noel Coward to me.

I swear many of your points were on the news!

Expand full comment
The Halfway Cafe's avatar

Some say I'm a prophet of events soon to come 🤷‍♀️

Expand full comment
Libby's avatar

Oh I wish 👏

Expand full comment
The Halfway Cafe's avatar

I like to think my headlines will someday manifest something like this happening for real ☕️

Expand full comment
StillTrying2AgeGracefully's avatar

Just had a friend suggest we should all send T a condolences card on the poor attendance at his parade. Anonymously.

Side note: sad for the army, he ruined their party.

Expand full comment
The Halfway Cafe's avatar

Classic Trump... take something that should be for someone else, make it all about himself, and ruin it.

Expand full comment
StillTrying2AgeGracefully's avatar

Yah, except that apparently the Army has never thrown a parade for itself. Ever. It HAS participated in military parades that involved other branches. After wars, etc.

Methinks there was no Army-originated plan for a parade, someone just helped T find a cover story for that parade to him he wants.

Expand full comment
The Halfway Cafe's avatar

Definitely 🍻

Expand full comment
Sharon Shea's avatar

If all of these things are true, I do hope we get some videos and photos for posterity!

Expand full comment
Aleksander Constantinoropolous's avatar

This reads like the Book of Revelation as rewritten by John Waters and illustrated by Banksy. Hogs stampeding, clowns in diapers, rogue AI parking protests—somehow it still feels more coherent than Trump’s foreign policy.

I just want to personally thank the universe for delivering the dystopia with such impeccable comedic timing. If the revolution comes dressed in drag, blasting vuvuzelas, and carrying kazoos, count me in. Blessed be the chaos chickens.

Expand full comment