Trump's Parade Invaded By Drag Queens, Mexicans, & Chickens!

And this week's other graffiti news headlines!

Photo by Ashes Sitoula on Unsplash

• Farmers pissed with Trump for ruining their pork exports with his tariffs are reportedly planning on bringing dozens of hogs to his military parade Saturday and letting them loose.

• A truck transporting a dozen used porta-potties reportedly just overturned in the middle of the D.C. intersection that will be used for the staging ground of Trump’s military parade on Saturday, and now the entire intersection “reeks of excretory waste.”

• Several officials from ICE say they’re excited to get fired from their jobs by raiding Mar-a-Lago for undocumented workers tomorrow.

• Trump has reportedly tasked 12 Secret Service agents with keeping his hair dry from the rain during the military parade.

• The National Clown & Jester Association is reportedly bussing 250 clowns from across the country to attend Trump’s parade dressed like him with bright orange face makeup, diapers, fake catheters full of apple juice, hyperbolic shoe lifts, and rubber chickens.

• A liberal millionaire says he’s going to hand out 1,500 kazoos and 1,000 vuvuzelas in D.C. the morning of Trump’s parade.

• Trump is reportedly furious because the city of Washington D.C. just installed a dozen wind turbines on top of the buildings around Trump’s parade route.

• A new group of vigilantes have reportedly started pulling up on ICE agents in unmarked cars, abducting them, and bussing them to Mexico after confiscating their IDs.

• Trolling Trump’s parade is going international, with a Scottish group bringing bagpipe players, the French bringing accordions, and some Germans bringing several polka bands.

• The thrill of his goons arresting a Democratic senator almost made Donald Trump forget for a moment today that there’s a catheter collecting his urine into a bag taped to his leg.

• Three ICE agents were abducted by masked men in an unmarked van today, and now no one in the Trump Administration knows where they’re being held.

• Trump reportedly just said out of habit that “Israel and Iran never would have happened if I was president.”

• Trump is reportedly demanding his staff craft an explanation for Israel’s bombing of Iran that claims Israel did it alone, but also takes credit for the attack’s success, but also paints him as a “peace president,” but also makes him look tough, and also blames Biden.

• Waymo’s AI has reportedly decided to join the protesters, and Waymo vehicles are now parking themselves around police vehicles boxing them in.

• ICE agents keep accidentally arresting other ICE agents who are Hispanic.

• The leaders of “Blacks For Trump” say the Trump team has been totally ignoring them since the election.

• Trump has reportedly replaced all the historic art in the White House with printed AI images of those paintings with himself inserted in them.

• Elon Musk reportedly pulled a “George Costanza” today and walked into the White House acting as if nothing happened between him and Trump.

• Trump has not sent any National Guard troops to police the protests outside Jeffrey Epstein’s mansion in New York City because he reportedly doesn’t want to bring any more attention to Epstein.

• The military costume Donald Trump purchased for his parade reportedly doesn’t fit because he insisted to the tailor he weighs 215 lbs. 🥃

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