Trump Staffers Say His Awful Body Odor Is Obstructing His Agenda

Anonymous whistleblowers agree Trump smells really, really, really bad.

May 21, 2025

Official White House photo by Joyce N. Boghosian | via Flickr.com Public Domain CC 1.0

Let’s remember that it’s widely agreed Trump smells like a dying old man whose Big Mac sauce drowned organs are rotting from the inside out.

Wannabe dictators’ strongmen personas depend on never admitting to any personal flaw or mistake, so let’s help ol’ Uncle Sam and the Constitution out a bit by reminding America every chance we get that Trump it’s the worst kept secret in Washington that Trump reeks.

Resist Trump’s pugilistic egomania of sociopathic narcissism as he tries to make us believe he should be a totalitarian, and remember the following dada news headlines:

Donald Trump just claimed his body odor “is protected by executive privilege.”
Leaked private texts from JD Vance reveal him complaining about sitting too close to Trump during meetings because of Trump’s “sauerkraut stench.”
Trump claims the rumors about him smelling bad are both “fake news” and classified, and the leakers should be shot.
A Secret Service agent just confirmed that Trump’s codename is “Roast Beef” because agents have to spend so much time in close proximity to his body’s “foul deli odor.”
Dozens of the attendees crammed in the Capitol Rotunda for Trump’s inauguration speech described Trump’s stench as “nearly unbearable.”
Trump was reportedly asked tonight to sign his signature on used diapers by several trolling Gen Z teens at Mar-a-Lago tonight.
Trump reportedly hates NATO and wants to pull the US out of the alliance because the prime minister of Belgium told him he needed some deodorant and a mint during a 2017 NATO summit in front of all the other world leaders.
While Trump was walking in his inauguration parade, witnesses say they could see Trump’s infamous stench smoking off his body and not just smell it.
Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway claims Trump just has “alternative scents.”
The DNC is now selling red hats Trump hats that say “Make America Gassy Again” on the front and “45+47" on the sides.
Trump’s non-disclosure agreements going back to the early 90s have included a clause mandating signees can’t mention his “browning brussel sprout esque ” body odor.
Forget immigrants, Trump is “poisoning the air of the country” with his stench.
Trump inhales so much makeup from his morning routine of caking it on and powdering it that when he farts he leaves orange stains on the butt of all his pants.

Melania Trump laughed publicly for the first time ever on camera after being asked if her husband smelled bad, and she laughed for 19 seconds straight before she started gasping for air and swearing that she didn’t hear the question.
Trump reportedly smelled so bad during a G7 meeting in 2019 that he made Shinzo Abe and Angela Merkel, who were sitting on either side of him, both vomit.
Mar-a-Lago employees say over 20,000 diapers have been mailed to Trump’s resort since #TrumpSmells started trending regularly on Twitter last year.
Trump reportedly smells so bad because he doesn’t like seeing himself naked, and only showers once a week after looking at himself in the mirror and shouting out loud, “Fake news!”
Trump was overheard at Mar-a-Lago today yelling into his phone, “The Supreme Court gave me presidential immunity to smell however I want!”
Trump’s vile body odor reportedly made it tough for him to hire some cabinet positions, and Trump was turned down by several Attorney General possibilities until Matt Gaetz and then Pam Bondi, who were already acquainted with and used to Trump’s stench, agreed.
Trump has reportedly directed Elon Musk to fire any government employees who have ever posted online that Trump smells like expired roast beef.
Trump reportedly has no personal staffers left at the White House residence because they all quit citing his stench as being “much worse now than the first term.”
Trump interrupted a 50th wedding anniversary party at Mar-a-Lago to claim the generals come up to him with tears in their eyes and say, “Sir, you were the best smelling president of all time.”
Trump is reportedly installing a chimpanzee exhibit at Mar-a-Lago so he can blame the stench on the apes.
One potential juror in Trump’s New York trial last year was dismissed after she explained to the judge that she had hypersomia, an unusually heightened sense of smell, and Trump’s stench was wafting over from the defense table making it impossible for her to focus on the details of the trial.
RFK Jr. accidentally said on a hot mic that Trump smells worse than the bear cub carcass he found on the side of the road back in 2014. 🥃

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