Middle East Officials Say Trump Smells Worse Than A Camel

And this week's other graffiti news headlines!

Photo by Mads Severinsen on Unsplash

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• Saudi officials reportedly keep asking if someone had camels nearby everytime they’re in the same room as Donald Trump.

• Qatari officials say they stopped the price negotiating with Trump for his private plane and offered it to him for free just so they could wrap up the meeting and not have to smell his stench anymore.

• Trump says 13.7 million Americans might lose healthcare coverage in his budget plan, but he promises he’ll get them all a big, beautiful replacement plan everyone’s going to love in “two weeks.”

• After getting to know so many Arabs on his bribery tour throughout the Middle East, Trump just announced that it was wrong of him to discriminate against them, and he says he now no longer wants to deport them all from America.

• Trump reportedly threw a tantrum this evening when he found out the Secret Service won’t let him fly around in a random, insecure jet given to him for free from a sometimes hostile foreign country.

• Trump is reportedly gifting his son Eric to the Qataris to be their personal slave, and he promises it’s not related at all to the $400 million private plane deal.

• Since being fired from D.O.G.E., Elon Musk has reportedly been trying to get on the leaderboard of several video games by himself, but keeps getting bullied off them by 10-year-olds who don’t laugh at any of his terrible jokes.

• Friends of RFK Jr. say the constant criticism is starting to get to him, and he’s increasingly expressing disappointment that he doesn’t have more time for his hobbies of looking for roadkill and swimming in ponds and lakes in EPA superfund sites.

• Chinese economic officials say Trump has “proven his ignorance,” and they will only continue tariff negotiations if Trump brings Obama along.

• Trump is reportedly pissed after finding out that the Qataris have been unsuccessfully trying to sell his new jumbo jet for years because it’s impractically big and expensive, and it can’t land at any of the small airports close to his golf courses.

• A Qatari official was just reportedly overheard calling Donald Trump a “sucker” for accepting as a bribe their impractically massive plane they were struggling to sell because it’s such a black hole of maintenance costs.

• Trump is reportedly furious that #TrumpIsAChump is trending everywhere because of how easily he was just bribed by the Qataris for a big, dumb plane.

• Trump reportedly wants to force his single son Don Jr. into an arranged marriage with a princess from the Saudi royal family to form a mega wealthy political alliance, but he’s not sure he wants mixed grandchildren.

• Trump is reportedly pissed with the Vatican because Pope Leo hasn’t sent him a bribe yet.

• Trump is threatening to sue anyone who calls his resort “Qatar-a-Lago.”

• Trump reportedly wants Fox News to do a “MTV Cribs” style documentary about his giant Qatari plane to win support for him taking it.

• Trump says he could end the war in Ukraine in one day if either Ukraine or Russia were willing to give him a billion dollar superyacht.

• OPINION: Following Trump’s claim that he stopped her from being “hot” anymore, Swift should break the Internet by retorting that Donald Trump a fat f*ck, mushroom-penised, fake haired, nepo-baby slumlord who gets dolled up every morning with orange clown makeup to be an oligarchic slut for his daddy dictators. 🥃

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