I don't report the facts, I improve them.
☕ Halfway true comedy and satire by Dash MacIntyre. The Halfway Post is America's number one source of Dadaist graffiti news.
My comedy has earned the most esteemed rating in the satire industry of “Pants On Fire!” by PolitiFact. THP has also been corrected by The Associated Press, USA Today, Newsweek, and is a regular subject on Snopes.
If I’ve ever made you laugh out loud, do a spit-take of your morning coffee, or feel a tinge of optimism that Trumpian fascism is too ridiculous to succeed in its mission of democracy backsliding, here’s my ask:
Consider becoming a paid subscriber of The Halfway Café for just $2.50 a month
For the price of one black coffee, you can help me continue to troll the right people in the Trump Administration. This isn’t a regular Substack newsletter: it’s civil disobedience in the form of relentless satire.
Reasons to become a paid subscriber:
Comedy is therapeutic catharsis in fascist eras such as ours.
NPR doesn’t have the balls to report on Trump’s “rotten roast beef stench,” CNN won’t report on Rudy Giuliani’s alien abductions, and MSNBC doesn’t have any interview connections with God, but I do!
Trolling fascists is a full-time job. The more paid subscribers I have, the more time I can spend being extraordinarily petty about all of the Trump Administration’s failures. The country is on fire, so help me roast the arsonists!
Because I won’t stop making fun of Trump. He wants to be a king, and America has been telling kings to fuck off since 1776. A paid subscription is like a middle finger to Trump’s demagoguery.
When my jokes go viral, Trump’s blood pressure rises. Help me keep proliferating new jokes, and maybe he’ll have a heart attack or stroke! My goal is to get big enough online that Trump personally calls me an “enemy of the people” before he dies.
If you’re a Floridian, your support can help me get on your state’s prestigious list of banned art!
If I have enough support from my readers, The Halfway Post could become the focus of a major censorship battle over how lenient the First Amendment has to be in harassing the demagogic pretensions of an aspiring dictator.
Mainstream media discourse has been much too polite and politically correct while shrugging off the Republican Party’s growing fascism. I am not.
If we can’t stop the fall of our republic, at least we can laugh the whole time over how stupid it all is. Help me heckle America’s villains!
I am not funded by George Soros (but if you’re reading this, George, call me!).
Trump’s ego is very fragile, and maybe together we can break him!
If you think Trump is the dumbest tyrant in American history, you’re right. Help me spread the word across the Internet for posterity’s sake.
Maybe Trump’s FBI already has files on me and The Halfway Post, help me make those files much fatter!
Some people storm the Capitol Building, I just find inventive ways to call Trump a shit stain on US history. Join an insurrection that’s legal, peaceful, and legitimate!
So subscribe today for just a monthly $2.50.
Join the Dadaist graffiti news rebellion 🫡
