ICE Agents Keep Getting Attacked By Gators At "Alligator Auschwitz"

And this week's other graffiti news headlines!

Photo by Samuel Scrimshaw on Unsplash

• Three ICE agents so far have reportedly been attacked by alligators during the construction of Florida’s “Alligator Auschwitz” prison camp.

• Donald Trump is reportedly furious at Netanyahu and Khamenei because their war and ceasefire negotiating stopped him from being able to attend Jeff Bezos’s wedding.

• A farmer in Nebraska is building a monument of Trump 20-feet tall made out of manure to commemorate Trump’s tariffs wrecking Nebraska’s agricultural economy.

• Trump is reportedly demanding all his staffers plan for many all-nighters over the next two weeks so he can finish at least one trade and prevent his administration’s 90-deals-in-90-days pledge from being a total humiliation.

• Trump is reportedly demanding everyone stop calling his prison camp “Alligator Auschwitz,” and use the name he chose, “Alligator Alcatraz.”

• Trump is reportedly demanding all his staffers plan for many all-nighters over the next two weeks to finish at least one trade deal so his administration’s “90-deals-in-90-days” pledge isn’t a totally humiliating embarrassment.

• Republicans are reportedly worried that their budget does not set aside enough money to pay for all the lawsuits against the government ICE is causing by assaulting, abducting, and deporting the wrong people.

• A Republican member of Congress says if Jesus doesn’t come back before the GOP’s budget bill wrecks American society, “then that’s God’s fault.”

• ICE arrests are dropping dramatically in LA thanks to a new tactic where when an undocumented immigrant starts getting arrested, everyone nearby who is brown starts circling the ICE agents and chanting “gang truce” repeatedly until the ICE agents run away.

• RFK Jr. reportedly never washes his hands because he’s afraid of the fluoride in tap water.

• A half-dozen moderate Republican senators who are all voting for the horrific budget bill say Democrats really should be doing more to stop it.

• The Secret Service is reportedly worried there are too many alligators around the Everglades prison camp Donald Trump is about to visit, and, because Trump walks with a limp and can’t move quickly, an alligator might grab him, drown him, and eat him.

• Lisa Murkowski says that, just because she keeps publicly calling Donald Trump a tyrant who has his goons stalking, harassing, and threatening members of Congress every day so they’re all terrified to say anything about his growing tyranny, it doesn’t mean she won’t vote for his economic suicide budget.

• There have reportedly been many ghost sightings of Adolf Hitler in the White House in recent days, and the ghost keeps telling people he can’t believe he didn’t think of building a moat around one of his concentration camps to put a bunch of gators.

• A viral TikTok video is reportedly offering $1 million for anyone who somehow soaks Trump’s hair with water on live, national television.

• Trump reportedly won’t sign an agreement between him and Ron DeSantis that states Trump won’t ever imprison DeSantis in the Alligator Auschwitz he’s building for ICE.

• A liberal billionaire is launching a fund to carve a second Mt. Rushmore of America’s worst presidents, featuring James Buchanan, Franklin Pierce, Andrew Johnson, and Donald Trump.

• The Trump Administration is reportedly having trouble hiring guards to work at the “Alligator Auschwitz” prison camp who don’t have Nazi tattoos.

• Top Iranian officials are reportedly cheering for the Republican budget bill, exclaiming, “The Great Satan America is nuking itself!”

• Lisa Murkowski says Donald Trump promised her no Alaskan citizens would be arrested and sent to “Alligator Auschwitz” if she voted for the budget bill. 🥃

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