Will Trump Fire Pete Hegseth For The Sleepy, Low Energy Parade?

And this week's other graffiti news headlines!

Jun 16, 2025

Credit: Gage Skidmore | gageskidmore.com | via Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0)

Pete Hegseth is reportedly worried Trump will fire him today or tomorrow because of the sleepy, low energy military parade.
MAGA fans are getting suspicious why Trump, who sues nearly everyone, hasn’t sued Elon Musk yet for claiming he’s in the Epstein files.
Local MAGA fans in Missouri are reportedly beginning to notice that Trump always seems to distract from his clusterfucks with more clusterfucks.
Trump was reportedly demanding his lawyers sue Elon Musk for calling him a pedophile until his lawyers pointed out that it would require a jury seeing the unredacted Epstein files.
China, Iran, and North Korea reportedly all lifted their bans on US social media companies today so their citizens could see how unattended Trump’s military parade was.
Trump’s rapidly sinking poll numbers, low energy birthday parade, and massive protests are reportedly making dozens of Congressional Republicans worry he’ll cause a wipeout level midterm loss for the GOP.
White House staffers reportedly printed out pictures of Obama speech crowds to cheer Trump up about his birthday parade’s low attendance, but they accidentally didn’t crop out Obama in one so Trump saw it and has been sulking all day.
The entire nation is still waiting for Trump to address Elon Musk calling him a pedophile.
Trump reportedly just announced he will no longer be pretending to be a Christian after God let the rain dampen his parade, and God allowed the #NoKings protests to be 100x bigger.
Trump’s doctors say the stress of so many giant protests against him could cause him to have a heart attack and force him to resign.

Trump is reportedly worried the crowds will be even bigger than the #NoKings protests if he resigns or has a stroke.
Trump is reportedly threatening to sue anyone who calls his parade the “new Fyre Festival.”
QAnon fans in Idaho have been living in sewers for the last 8 months because they convinced themselves Trump won in 2020 and was only wearing Biden’s face as a disguise to defeat the Deep State, but then in 2024 Trump won again, so now they have no idea who is really president.
Tesla officials are starting to worry that the white supremacist demographic Elon Musk is increasingly marketing his brand to exclusively is big enough for him to keep Tesla in business.
Trump is reportedly depressed because of how low energy his parade was, so staffers gave him his favorite breakfast of two stacks of pancakes with a strawberry slice in the middle of each so they look like boobs, but he’s so sad he didn’t even motorboat them once.
The G7 summit in Canada is reportedly trolling Trump by serving tacos for lunch today, and chicken tomorrow.
The world leaders at G7 reportedly all use Vicks VapoRub under their noses to mask Trump’s stench when they’re in the same room as him. 🥃

☕️ I’m trying to be the most relentless satirist of Donald Trump and the MAGA movement on the Internet, so if you like my graffiti news comedy here’s a 50% discount on paid subscriptions to help support me, for just $2.50 a month, write full-time and tirelessly mock Trump’s fascism with comedy.

And help me grow by sharing my comedy with your liberal friends and family, and your conservative enemies!

If you think Donald Trump is a joke, I published two books for you: Satire In The Trump Years and Satire In The Biden Years, available on Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Kobo. Or, better yet, request your local library order a copy on their website.

I’ve also published three existentialist poetry books, Cabaret No Stare, Moon Goon, and Hotel Golden Hours available in print and on Kindle.

Because our social media platforms are being scrambled up by oligarchs, if you like my humor, diversify where you follow me so you never miss my jokes to interrupt your doomscrolling: Twitter, Bluesky, Threads, Facebook, Instagram, Spoutible, Medium, and Substack.